MS-UoR-1227-7-12-1

[0029] much later ... perhaps something ... she had to say ... could that be it? ... tiny little [⁁]^thing ... hole in the bog ... never any love ... spared that ... speechless all her days ... stand waiting for the bag ... pay and go without a word ... how she survived ... now this ... [0029] something she had to say ... could that be it? ... something that would say ... how it was ... could - ... what? ... had been? ... yes ... something that would say ... how it had been ... how she had survived ... lived on ... to be sixty ... [0029] something she ... what? ... sixty-five? ... how she lived on ... to be sixty-five ... something she didn't know herself ... wouldn't know if she heard ... then forgiven ... merciful God ... [0030] back in the field ... could that be it? ... bound to in the end ... out with it in the end ... say everything go on long enough ... [0030] then back in the field ... face buried in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... pick it up there ... get on with it from there ... another few - ... what? ... not that? ... nothing to do with that? ... all right ... something else ... think of something else ... long after ... not that either ... all right ... something else again ... so on ... hit on it in the end ... think everything go on long enough ... [0031] then back in the ... what? ... not that? ... nothing to do with that? ... nothing she could think? ... nothing she could ... what? ... I? ... no ... no! ... ^{nothing she could ...} she ... tiny little girl ... parents unknown ... hole in the bog ... no love ... spared that ... speechless all her days ... [0034] keep on trying ... trying to ... trying to what? ... body like gone ... only the face ... keep on ... what? ... the buzzing ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... so-called ... the beam ... on and off ... painless ... so far ... ah! ... so far ... keep on [⁁]^trying ... [0035] (curtain starts slowly down) ... trying what ... no matter ... keep on ... hit on it in the end ... then back ... back in the field ... back in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... pick it up -

[0027] dull roar like falls
[0026]

A[0023]
all that ... [⁁]^all at once ... ^{imagine ...} body like gone ... [0024] only a face ... lips ... jaws ... cheeks ... never still a second ... mouth on fire ... words ^streaming out ... in her ear ... practically in her ear ... and can't hear the half of them ... not the [0024] quarter ... doesn't know what she's saying ... imagine ... no idea what she's saying! ... [0025] all that together ... trying to hear... piece it together ... and the brain ... ^{raving away on its own ...} ... trying to make sense of it ... [0026] or in the past ... bringing up the [0026] past ... willy-nilly ... ^flashes from all over ... standing waiting for the bag ... odds & ends of walks ... walking all her days ... [0026] stop and stare into space ... the one time she cried ... since she could remember ... old woman already ... sitting looking at her hand ... palm ^upward in her lap ... [⁁] ^{suddenly wet ... tears presumably ... hers presumably ... no one else for miles ...[⁁]} [0026] all over in a second ... sat and watched them dry [0027] ... or snatching at crumbs ... the brain ... flickering away on its own ... one look and on ... on to the next ... bad [0027] as the voice ... worse in a way ... ... no more sense ... ... [0027] all that at once ... ^can't - ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... dull roar like falls ... and the ray ... flickering on & off ... starting to move around ... seeming moonbeam but clearly not ... head ^doesn't move but eyes ... oh very much so ... hundred degrees at least ...

[0031] Example of "rare ^occasion"
practically speechless ... even to herself ... never out loud ... [0032] but not quite ... ... sometimes sudden urge ... once or twice a year ... [⁁]^always winter for [0032] some reason ... the long evenings ... sudden urge to ... tell ... then rush out & stop the first person she saw ... man or woman or child [0033] nearest lavatory ... start pouring [0033] it out ... steady stream ... wild stuff ... half the vowels wrong . pine for pain ... that kind ... no one could follow ... till she saw the look she was getting ... then die of shame ... once or twice a year ... always winter for some reason ... now this ...

[0029] Ex. 2 of speechlessness
practically speechless ... how she survived ... that time in court ... what had she to say for herself ... guilty or not guilty ... speak up woman ... stood there staring at nothing ... waiting to be led away ... glad of the hand on her arm ...