MS-UoR-1227-7-12-1

[0029] much later ... perhaps something ... she had to say ... could that be it? ... tiny little [⁁]^thing ... hole in the bog ... never any love ... spared that ... speechless all her days ... stand waiting for the bag ... [pay go] pay and go without a word ... how she survived ... now this ... [0029] something she had to say ... could that be it? ... something that would say ... how it was ... could [-] ... what? ... had been? ... yes ... something that would say ... how it had been ... how she had survived ... [lived] lived on ... to be sixty ... [0029] something she ... what? ... sixty-five? ... how she lived on ... to be sixty-five ... something she didn't know herself ... wouldn't know if she heard ... then forgiven ... back in the field merciful God ... [0030] back in the field ... could that be it? ... bound to in the end ... out with it in the end ... say enough everything go on long enough ... [0030] then back in the field ... face buried in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... pick it up there ... get on with it from there ... another few - ... what? [not that] ... [not] that? ... nothing to do with that? ... all right ... something else ... think of something else ... long after ... not that either ... all right ... something else again ... so on ... hit on it in the end ... think everything go on long enough ... [0031] then back in the ... what? ... not that? ... nothing to do with that? ... nothing she could think? ... nothing she could ... what? ... I? ... no ... no! ... [she] she could ... ^{nothing she could ...} she ... tiny little girl ... parents unknown ... hole in the bog ... [no] no love ... spared that ... speechless all her days ... [0034] keep on trying ... trying to ... trying to what? ... all the time body like gone ... only the face ... face and [xxx] keep on ... what? ... the buzzing ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... so-called ... the beam ... on and off ... painless ... so far ... ah! ... so far ... keep on [⁁]^trying ... [0035] (curtain starts slowly down) ... trying what ... no matter ... keep on ... hit on it in the end ... back in then back ... back in the field ... back in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... pick it up -

[0026] sitting looking at her hand
palm down on a [xxx]
suddenly saw tears on it
could only have been hers
all over in a second
watched them dry


[0027] dull roar like falls
[0026] the one time she cried
[since] she [could] could remember
all over
all over in a second

A[0023] [all that]
all that ... [⁁]^all at once ... ^{imagine ...} body like gone ... [ imagine ...] [0024] only a face ... lips ... jaws ... cheeks ... never still a second ... mouth on fire ... words pouring ^streaming out ... in her ear ... practically in her ear ... and can't hear the half of them ... [not] the [0024] quarter ... doesn't know what she's saying ... imagine ... no idea what she's saying! ... [0025] all that together ... trying to hear... piece it together ... and the brain ... ^{raving away on its own ...} [...] ^{raving away on its own ...} at something else ... trying to make sense of it ... [0026] or in the past ... bringing up the [0026] past ... willy-nilly ... flashes [xxx] snatches ^flashes from all over ... odds & ends of walks ... standing waiting for the bag ... odds & ends of walks ... walking all her [life] days ... [0026] stop and stare into space ... the one time she cried ... since she could remember ... sitting old woman already ... sitting looking at her hand ... palm [down] ^upward in her lap ... [⁁]suddenly tears [on] ⁱⁿ it ... could only have been hers ... [no one] ^{no one for miles ... suddenly wet ... tears presumably ... hers presumably ... no one else for miles ...[⁁]} [0026] [xx] all over in a second ... sat and watched them dry [0027] ... or snatching at crumbs ... the brain ... out of hand ... out of hand too ... [running] away with her too ... flickering away on its own ... one look and on ... [on to] the next ... bad [0027] as the voice ... worse in a way ... [no sense] [no] ... [no more sense] ... all that at once ... all ... what? ... the buzzing? ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... on top of all the buzzing ... doesn't know what she's thinking ... imagine ... no idea what she's saying ... no idea what she's thinking ... [0027] all that at once ... [all] ^can't - ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... dull roar like falls ... and the ray ... flickering on & off ... starting to move around ... [seeming] moonbeam but clearly not ... head [can't] ^doesn't move but eyes ... oh very much so ... hundred degrees at least ...

[0031] [xx]Example of "rare occurrence ^occasion"
practically speechless ... all her days ... not quite ... [even] to herself ... never out loud to herself ... [0032] but not quite ... not quite speechless ... sometimes sudden urge ... once or twice a year ... [⁁]^always winter for [0032] some reason ... the long [evenings] evenings ... sudden urge to ... tell ... then rush out & stop the first person she saw ... [man or woman or child] [0033] nearest lavatory ... start pouring [0033] it out ... steady stream ... wild stuff ... half the vowels wrong . pine for pain ... that kind ... no one could follow ... till she saw the look she was getting ... then die of shame ... once or twice a year ... always winter for some reason ... now this ...

[0029] Ex. 2 of speechlessness
practically speechless ... how she survived ... that time in court ... guilty or not guilty ... what what had she to say for herself ... guilty or not guilty ... speak up woman ... stood there staring at nothing ... waiting to be led away ... glad of the hand on her arm ...