MS-UoR-1227-7-12-2

[0004] ...birth...into this world...this world...of a tiny
little thing...five pounds...in a godfor-...what?...
girl?...tiny little girl...into this...in a godforsaken
hole...in the bog...named -...what?...the downs?
...godforsaken hole in the downs?...no...no!...the bog...
godforsaken hole in the bog...named...named...forgotten...

[0005]to parents unknown...he having vanished... vanished
into...thin air...no sooner done his...devilish work??
work...and she similarly...nine months later...almost
to the minute...[0006]so no love...such as normally showered
on the...speechless infant...in the home...no...nor
indeed [⁁] ^{[place = margin left] for that matter} any of any kind...at any subsequent...time ^{[place = supralinear] stage}
...so usual affair...nothing worthy of note

[0007] till...coming
up to sixty when...what?...sixty-five?...coming up to
sixty-five...walking in a field...searching ^{[place = margin left] aimlessly} for cow-
slips...to make a ball...when suddenly all went out...
all that early April morning light...and she found herself
in the -...what?...I?...no...nox ^{[place = overwritten] !}...she ...found herself
in the dark...

[0008]and if not exactly...insentient...insentient
...for w ^{[place = overwritten] s}he still ^{[place = margin left] could} heard the buzzing...so-called!...in
the ears...and a ray of light...such as the moon might
shed...drifteing...in and out of cloud...but so lessened...
sensation...sensation so lessened...she did not know...
what position she s ^{[place = overwritten] w}as in...whether standing...ot ^{[place = overwritten] r} sitting...
but the brain 6.. brain -...what?...lying?...whx ^{[place = overwritten] e}ther
standing...or sitting...or lying...

[0009]but the brain still...
in a way ^{[place = supralinear] sense}...for her first thought was...after some time
it is true...her first thought...brought up as she had
been to believe (laugh)...in a merciful (laugh)...God
(laugh)...[0010]first thought was...she was being punished...
for her sins ^{[place = margin left] iniquities[stet]} ...a number of which then...further proof
if proof were needed...flashed through her mind...

[0011] then dismissed as foolisg ^{[place = overwritten] h}...this thought dismissed...
as she gradually ralised realized...she was not suffer-
ing ^{[place = margin left] ...not suffering at all}...indeed could not remember...when she had suffered
less...unless of course... course she was...meant to be
suffering ^{[place = margin left] at all}...thought to be suffereing...just as so often...
in the past...when clearly intended to be hab ^{[place = overwritten] v}ing pleasure...

[0011] she was in fact...having none whatsoever ^{[place = margin left] not the slightest}...in which case
of course...that notion of punishment...for some sin or
other...or for no special reason...for its own sake...
thing she understood perfecf ^{[place = overwritten] t}ly...that notion of punish-
ment...which had first occurred to her...brought up as
she had been to believe (laugh)...in a merciful (laugh)...