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THE UNNAMABLE
[place = margin top] 1st revision up to p. 25
[p. 01r] [0001] Where now? [0002] When now? [0003] Who now? [0004]
Unquestioning [place = supralinear] Without asking.[Stet] [0005] I, say I. [0006] Unbelieving. [0007] Questions, hypotheses, call them that. [0008] Keep going,
going on, call that going, call that on. [0009] Can it be that one day,
off it goes on, that one day I simply stayed in, in where, instead of going out, in the old way, out to spend day and night
as far away as possible, [place = margin left]
xxxwhere it wasn't far. [0010] Perhaps that is how it
began. [0011] No more questions. [0012] You think you are simply resting, the
better to act when the time comes, or for no reason, and you soon
find yourself
precluded from ever doing [place = supralinear] powerless ever to do anything again. [0013] No matter
how it happened. [0014] It, say it, not knowing what. [0015] Perhaps I simply
assented at last to an old thing [place = supralinear] situation.[Stet] [0016] But I did nothing. [0017] I seem to
speak, it is not I, about me, it is not about me. [0018] These few
general remarks to begin with. [0019] What am I to do, what shall I do,
what should I do, in my situation, how proceed? [0020] By aporia pure
and simple or by affirmations and negations invalidated as uttered,
or sooner or later? [0021] Generally speaking. [0022] There must be other
ways [place = supralinear] solutions
out [place = supralinear] shifts. [0023] Otherwise it would be quite hopeless. [0024] But it is quite hopeless. [0025] I should mention before going any further, any further on,
that I say aporia without knowing what it means. [0026] Can one be an
Ephectic otherwise than unawares? DOODLE 1 [0027] I don't know. [0028] With the yesses
and noes it is different. [place = overwritten] , T [place = overwritten] they will come back to me as I go along,
and how to shit on them, sooner or later, like a bird, without
omitting any [place = supralinear] exception. [0029] That is an easy thing to say [place = supralinear] soon said. [0030] The fact would seem
to be, if in my situation one may speak of facts, nt [place = supralinear] not only that
I shall have to speak of things of which I cannot speak, but also,
which is even more interesting, [place = supralinear] but also that I, which is even more interesting, that I shall have to, I forget, no matter. [0031] And yet I am
obliged to speak. [0032] I shall never be silent. [0033] Never.
[0034] I shall not be alone, at the outset [place = supralinear] in the beginning. [0035] Of course I am. [place = supralinear] [⁁]I am of course alone. [0036] Alone. [p. 02r] [0037] That is an easy thing to say [place = supralinear] soon said. [0038] Things have to be easy to say [place = supralinear] soon said. [0039] And
how can one be sure, in such darkness? [0040] I s
j [place = overwritten] hall have company. [0041] At [place = supralinear] In
the outset [place = supralinear] beginning. [0042] A few puppets. [0043] Then I'll scatter them., [place = supralinear] to the winds, [0044] If I can. [0045] And
things, what is the right [place = supralinear] correct attitude towards things? [0046] And, to begin
with, are things [place = supralinear] they necessary? [0047] What a question. [0048] But I have no illusions,
things are to be expected. [0049] The best is not to decide anything, in
this connexion, in advance. [0050] If a thing turns up, for some reason
or another, take it into account [place = supralinear] consideration. [0051] Where there are people, it is
said, there are things. [0052] Does this mean that when you admit the
former you must admit the latter? [0053] It remains to be seen [place = supralinear] Time will tell. [0054] The thing
to avoid, I don't know why, is the spirit of system. [0055] People with
things, people without things, things without people, what does
it matter, it will not take me long to scatter them. [place = supralinear] I'm confident I can soon scatter them [place = supralinear] when I choose, to the winds. [0056] I don't see
how. [0057] The best would be not to begin. [0058] But I have to begin. [0059] That is
to say I have to continue [place = supralinear] go on. [0060] Perhaps in the end I shall [place = supralinear] 'll smother in
a crowd [place = supralinear] throng. [0061] Incessant comings and goings, the [place = supralinear] crush & bustle of a bazaar [place = supralinear] bargain sale. [0062] No, I am only joking. [place = inline] no danger. Of that.
[0063] Malone is there. [0064] Of his mortal v [place = overwritten] liveliness little trace survives [place = supralinear] remains. [0065] He passes before me at doubtless regular intervals, unless it is
I who pass before him. [0066] No, once and for all, I do not stir [place = margin right] move. [0067] He
passes, motionless. [0068] But there will not be much about [place = supralinear] on the subject of Malone, from
whom nothing further is [place = supralinear] whom there is nothing more to be expected. [0069] I [place = overwritten] Personally I do not intend
to be bored. [0070] It was [place = supralinear] while watching him pass that I wondered if we cast
a shadow. [0071] Impossible to say. [0072] He passes close to me, a few feet
away, slowly, always in h [place = overwritten] the same direction. [0073] I am almost sure it
is he. [0074] The brimless hat seems to be conclusive. [0075] With his two hands
he props up his jaw. [0076] He passes without a word. [0077] Perhaps he does
not see me. [0078] One of these days I shall [place = supralinear] I'll challenge him. I shall [place = supralinear] I'll say... [place = inline] ,
I don't know, I shall [place = supralinear] I'll think of something when the time comes. [0079] There are no days here, but I use the expression. [0080] I see him from
the waist up, [0081] he stops at the waist, for me. [place = supralinear] as far as I'm concerned. [0082] The trunk is erect. [0083] But
I do not know whether he is on his feet or on his knees. [place = supralinear] standing or kneeling [0084] He might [place = supralinear] also
be seated [place = supralinear] also be sitting. [0085] I see him in profile. [0086] Sometimes I wonder if it is not
[p. 03r] Molloy. [0087] Perhaps it is Molloy, wearing Malone's hat. [0088] But it is more
reasonable to assume it is Malone, wearing his own hat. [0089] Oh look,
there is the first thing, Malone's hat. [0090] I see no other clothes. [0091] Perhaps Molloy is not here at all. [0092] Could he be, without my knowledge? [0093] The place is no doubt vast. [0094] Dim intermittent lights suggest
a kind of distance. [0095]
Tp To tell the truth I believe they are all
here, at least from Murphy on, I believe we are all here, but so
far I have only seen Malone. [0096] Another hypothesis, they were here,
but are here no longer. [0097] I shall examine it after my fashion. [0098] Are
there other pits, deeper down? [0099] To which one accedes by this one? [0100] Stupid obsession with depth. [0101] Are there other places set aside for
us and this one where I am, with Malone, merely their narthex? [0102] I thought I was [place = supralinear] had done with preliminaries [place = supralinear] phases. [0103] No, no, we have all been
here for ever, we shall all be here for ever, I know it.
[0104] No [place = supralinear] I shall ask myself [place = overwritten] No more questions. [0105] Is not this rather the place where one
finishes vanishing [place = supralinear] fading away ?[Stet] [0106] Will the day come when Malone will pass before
me no longer? [0107] Will the day come when Malone will pass before the
spot where I was? [0108] Will the day come when another will pass before [place = inline] me,
[place = supralinear] [⁁] before the spot where I was. [0109] I have no opinion, on the [place = supralinear] se
subject [place = supralinear] matters.
[0110] If I were not without feeling his beard would fill me with pu [place = overwritten] ity. [0111] It hangs down, on either side of his chin, in two twists of unequal
length. [0112] Was there a time when I too revolved thus? [0113] No, I have always
been sitting here, at this [place = supralinear] self[⁁]same spot, my hands on my knees, gazing
before me like a great horned owl in an aviary. [0114] The tears stream
down my cheeks from my unblinking eyes. [0115] What makes me weep so? [0116] From time to time. [0117] There [ [place = inline] /]is nothing saddening here. [0118] Perhaps it is
liquefied brain. [0119] Past happiness ij [place = overwritten] n any case has ce [place = overwritten] lean gone from
my memory, assuming it was ever there. [0120] If I accomplish other natural
functions, it is unawares. [0121] Nothing ever troubles me. [0122] And yet I am
troubled. [0123] Nothing has ever changed since I have been here. But I
dare not conclude from this that nothing will ever change. [0124] Let us
[p. 04r] try and see where these considerations lead. [0125] I have been [place = supralinear] here, [place = supralinear]
here ever[⁁] since
I began to be, here, my appearances elsewhere being due to other
parties. [0126] All has proceeded, throughout [place = supralinear] all this time, in the utmost
calm, the most perfect order, apart from a few manifestations the
meaning of which escapes me. [0127] No, it is not that their meaning escapes me, my own escapes me just as much. [0128] Here all things ... [place = supralinear] — no, I
shall not say it, being unable to. [0129] I owe my existence to nobody,
these faint fires are not of the kind [place = supralinear] those that illuminate or burn. [0130] Going nowhere, coming from nowhere, Malone passes. [0131] These notions
of ancestors [place = supralinear] forbears, of houses where lamps are lit at night, and other
kindred ones [place = supralinear] such, where do they come to me from? [0133] And all these questions that I ask myself. [0134] It is not in a spirit of curiosity. [0135] I
cannot be silent. [0136] I do not need to know anything about myself [place = supralinear] About myself I need to know nothing. [0137] Here all is clear. [0138] No, all is not clear. [0139] But the discourse must
continue [place = supralinear] go on. [0140] So one invents obscurities. [0141] It is r [place = overwritten] Rhetoric. [0142] What then [place = supralinear] These lights
is so strange about these lights, I do not ask them to mean any- [place = supralinear] for example, which I do not ask to have meaning [place = supralinear] mean anything, what is there so strange
thing, so out of place almost? [place = supralinear] about them, one might almost say so wrong? [0143] Is it their irregularity, their
instability, [place = supralinear] is it their shining strong one minute and weak the next,
but never exceeding [place = supralinear] beyond the power of one or two canf [place = overwritten] dles? DOODLE 2 [0144] Malone appears
and disappears with the punctuality of clockwork, always at the
same distance from me, at the same speed [place = supralinear] velocity, in the same direction,
in the same attitude. [0145] But the play of the lights is truly unpredictable. [0146] It is only fair to say that to eyes less knowing than
mine they would probably pass quite unnoticed [place = supralinear] unseen.. [0147] But even to mine
do they not sometimes do so? [0148] They are perhaps unwavering and
fo [place = overwritten] ixed and my fitful perceiving the cause of their inconstancy. [0149] I hope I shall [place = supralinear] may have occasion to come back to this question. [0150] But
I shall remark without further delay, in order to be sure of doing
so, that I am counting [place = supralinear] relying on these lights, as indeed on all other
similar sources of credible perplexity, to help me continue and
perhaps even conclude. [0151] Upon which I shall continue [place = supralinear] And xxx I [place = supralinear] I resume, I have to. [place = supralinear] I have to. [0152]
Yes, where was I, from the unexceptionable harmony of this place [place = supralinear] order that has prevailed
[place = supralinear] here up to now [place = supralinear] date may I infer that such will always n [place = overwritten] be the case? [0153] I may
[p. 05r] of course. [0154] But the mere fact of asking myself such a question
sets
me wondering [place = supralinear] gives me to reflect. [0155] It is in vain I tell myslef that its only purpose
is to stimulate the lagging discourse, this excellent explanation
does not satisfy me. [0156] Can it be I am the prey of a genuine preoccupation, of a need to know
so to speak [place = supralinear] as one might say? [0157] I don't know. [0158] I'll try something
else. [0159] If one day a change were to occur [place = supralinear] take place, proceeding [place = supralinear] resulting from a principle
of disorder already present, or on its way, what then? [0160] All [place = supralinear] That would [place = inline] seem
[place = margin left] to [⁁] depend on the nature of the change in question. [0161] No, here all change
would be fatal and land me back, there and then, in [place = margin left] all the fun of the [place = supralinear] among the swings and
fair [place = supralinear] the roundabouts. [0162] I'll try something else. [0163] Has nothing really changed since I
have been here? [0164] [place = supralinear] No,[⁁] F [place = overwritten] frankly, hand on heart, wait a second, no, nothing,
to my knowledge. [0165] But, as I have said, the place may well be vast,
as it may well [place = supralinear] really measure twelve feet in diameter. [0166] As far as discerning its limits is concerend, it comes to the same thing. [0167]
It pleases [place = supralinear] I like
me to think I occupy the centre, but nothing is less certain. [0168] In
a sense I would be better off on [place = supralinear] at the d [place = overwritten] edge [place = supralinear] circumference, since my eyes are always
fixed in the same direction. [0169] But I am certainly o [place = overwritten] not on [place = supralinear] at the edge [place = supralinear] circumference. [0170] For
if I were then Malone, wheeling about me as he does, would exit [place = supralinear] issue
froù from the enclosure [place = supralinear] enceinte at every revolution, which is manifestly
impossible. [0171] But does he really [place = supralinear] in fact wheel, does he not perhaps simply
pass before me in a straight line? [0172] No, he wheels, I feel it, and
about me, like a planet about its sun. [0173] And if he made a noise,[⁁] [place = supralinear] as he goes, I
would hear him all the time, on my right hand, at my back, on my
left hand, before seeing him again. [0174] But he makes none, for I am
not deaf, of that I am convinced, that is to say half convinced. [0175] In any case from centre to edge [place = supralinear] circumference it is a far cry and I may wd [place = overwritten] ell be
situated somewhere between them the two. [0176] It is equally possible,
I do not deny it, that I too am in endless [place = supralinear] perpetual motion, accompanied by
Malone, as the earth by its moon. [0177] In which case there would be no
further grounds for my complaining about the disorder of the lights,
[place = supralinear]
this being due simply to my insistence on regarding them as always the same
lights and viewed always from the same point. [0178] All is possible, or
very nearly [place = supralinear] almost. [0179] But the best is to think of myself as fixed and at
the centre of this place, whatever its shape and scope [place = supralinear] extent. [0180] This is[p. 06r] also probably the most pleasing to me. [0181] In a word
: no change apparently since I have been here; [place = inline] , disorder of the lights perhaps an illusion: [place = inline] ,
all change to be feared; [place = inline] , incomprehensible uneasiness.
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