MS-TCD-4662

[0524] than this reasonable, patient boy child,
struggling all alone for years to cast to throw
a little light upon himself, avid of the faintest
gleam, closed to the charms of dark.
[0525] Here truly Here truly is the air I needed,
buoyant and tenuous lively and tenuous
a lively tenuous air, far from the nourishing
fog murk that is killing me.

[0526] I shall never
go back into this xxx carcass xx except to look
at its time. [0527] I want to be there a little before
the plunge, to close on top of me for the last time
the old hatch, say goodbye to the holds where
I have lived, go down with my refuge. [0528] Sen-
timental fool.

[0529] But between now and then
I have time to frolic, on shore, in the
brave company I have always longed for,
always searched for, and which would
never have me. [0530] Yes, now I am easy in
in my mind, I know the game is won, I
lost all the others, but it is the last one
that counts.

[0531] That is what I would call
a good job of work, if I xx did not fear
to contradict myself. [0532] Fear to contradict
myself! [0533] If this continues it is myself I
shall lose and the thousand ways that
lead there. [0534] And I shall be like the
unfortunates famous in fable, crushed
beneath the weight of their wish come true.

[0535] And I even feel a strange desire come
over me, the desire to know what I am
doing, and why, and to say it. [0536] So I
near the goal I set myself in my young
years and which has prevented me from
living. [0537] And on the threshold of being no
more I succeeded in being another. [0538] Which
Very pretty.

[0539] The summer holidays. [0540] In the morning
he received private tuition. [0541] You'll
have us in the poorhouse, said Mrs. S.
[0542] It's a good investment, replied her
husband. [0543] In the afternoon he left the