MS-WU-MSS008-3-51-2

[0045] in another. [0046] We'll come to that. [0047] Her name? I've forgotten it again. [0048] It seems
to me sometimes that I even knew my son, that I helped him. [0049] Then I tell myself
it is impossible. [0050] It is impossible I could ever have helped anyone. [0051] I've for-
gotten how to spell too, and half the words. [0052] That doesn't matter apparently.
[0053] Good. [0054] He's a queer card who comes to see me. [0055] He comes every Sunday apparently.
[0056] The other days he isn't free. [0057] He's always thirsty. [0058] It was he who told me I'd
begun all wrong, that I should have begun differently. [0059] He must be right.

[0060] I began
at the beginning, like an old fool, can you imagine that. [0061] Here's my beginning.
[0062] Because they're keeping it apparently. [0063] I took a lot of trouble with it. [0064] Here it
is. [0065] It gave me a lot of trouble. [0066] It was the beginning, you see. [0067] Whereas now
it's nearly the end. [0068] Is what I do now any better? [0069] I don't know. [0070] That's beside
the point. [0071] Here's my beginning. [0072] It must mean something, since they're keeping it.
[0073] Here it is.

[0074] This time, then once more I think, then I think it'll be
over, with that world too. [0075] Premonition of the last but one. [0076] All grows dim. [0077] A
little more, and you'll go blind. [0078] It's in the head.^, [0079] It doesn't work any more,
it says, I don't work any more. [0080] You go dumb as well and sounds fade. [0081] The threshold
scarcely crossed that's how it is. [0082] It's the head. It must have had enough. [0083] So
that you say, I'll manage this time, then perhaps once more, then nothing more.

[0084] You
are hard set to formulate this thought, for it is one, in a sense. [0085] Then you try to
pay attention, to consider with attention all those dim things, saying to yourself
laboriously, It's my own fault. [0086] Fault? [0087] that was the word. [0088] But what fault? [0089] It's
not goodbye, and what magic in these dim things to which it will be time enough,
when next they pass, to say goodbye.

[0090] For you must say goodbye, it would be stupid
not to say goodbye, when the time comes. [0091] If you think of the forms and light of
other days it is without regret. [0092] But you seldom think of them, with what would you
think of them. [0093] I don't know. [0094] People pass too, hard to distinguish from yourself.
[0095] That is discouraging. [0096] That's how I saw A and B going slowly towards each other,