MS-HRC-SB-5-3

[0023] ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... so-called! ^{[place = margin right] [₰]} ... all that together ... imagine! ... whole body like gone ... [0024] just the mouth ... lips ... cheeks ... jaws ... never - ... what? ... tongue? ... yes ... lips ... cheeks ... jaws ... tongue ... never still a second ... mouth on fire ... stream of words [0024] ... in her ear ... practically in her ear ... not catching the half ... not the quarter ... no idea what she's saying ... imagine! ... no idea what she's saying! ... and can't stop ... no stopping it ... she who but a moment before ... ^{[place = margin left] but} a moment! ... she ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} couldn't ^{[place = margin right] could not} make a sound ... no sound of any [0024] kind ... now can't stop ... imagine! ... can't stop the stream ... [0025] ^{[place = margin left] and} the whole brain begging ... something begging in the brain ... begging the mouth to stop ... pause a moment ... if only for a moment ... and no response ... as if it hadn't heard ... or couldn't ... couldn't pause a second ... like [0025] maddened ... all that together ... straining to hear ... piece it together... and the brain ... raving away on its own ... trying to make sense of it ... ^{[place = margin right] or} make it stop ... [0026] or in the past ... dragging up the past ... flashes from all over ... walks mostly ... walking all her days... day after day ... a few steps then [0026] stop dead ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} ... stare into space ^{[place = margin left] ... [place = margin left] then on} ... move on a few more ... stop and stare again ... ^{[place = margin left] so on ...} drifting around ... day after day ... then ^{[place = margin right] or} that time she cried ... the one time she could remember ... since she was a baby ... must have cried as a baby ... perhaps not ... not essential to life ... just the birth [0026] cry to get her going ... breathing ... then no more till this ... old hag already ^{[place = margin left] ... sitting staring at her hand} ... where was it? ... Croker's Acres ... one evening on the way home ... home! ... a little mound in Croker's Acres ... dusk ... sitting staring at her hand ... there in her lap ... palm upward ... suddenly saw it wet ... the [0026] palm ... tears presumably ... hers presumably ... no one else for miles ... no sound ... just the tears ... sat and watched them dry ... all over in a second ... [0027] or grabbing at the straw ... the brain ... flickering away on its own ... quick grab and on ... nothing there ... on to the next ... bad as the voice [0027] ... worse ... as little sense ... all that together ... can't - ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... dull roar like falls ... and the beam ... flickering on and off ... starting to move around ... like moonbeam but not ... all part of the same ... keep an eye on that too ... corner of the ev ^{[place = overwritten] y}e ... all that together ... can't go

[0027] on ... God is love ... she'll be purged ... [0028] back in the field ... morning sun ... April ... sink face down in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... so on ... grabbing at the straw ... straining to hear ... the odd word ... make some sense of it ... whole body like gone ... just the mouth ... like [0028] maddened ... and can't stop ... no stopping it ... something she - ... something she had to ^{[place = margin left] -} ... what? ... who? ... what? ... no ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} ... no! ... SHE! ^{[place = margin right] she!} ... (pause and movement 3 ) ... something she had to - ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... dull roar ... in the skull ... [0028] and the beam ... ferreting around ... painless ... so far ... ha! ... so far ... [0029] tha ^{[place = margin left] e}n thinking ... another thought ... ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} oh long after ... sudden flash ... perhaps something she had to ... had to ... tell ^{[place = margin right] ...} could that be it? ... something she had to ^{[place = margin left] ...} tell ... tiny little thing ... before its time ... ^{[place = margin left] godforsaken hole ...} no love ... [0029] spared that ... speechless all her days ... practically speechless ... how she survived! ... that time in court ... what had she to say for herself ... guilty or not guilty ... stand up, ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} woman ... speak up, ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} woman ... stood there staring into space ... mouth half open as usual ... waiting to be led away [0029] ... glad of the hand on her arm ... now this ... something she had to tell ... could that be it? ... something that would tell ... how it was ... how she - ... what? ... had been? ... yes ... something that would tell how it had been ... how she ^{[place = margin right] had} lived ... lived on and on ... guilty or not ^{[place = margin left] ... on and on} ... to be [0029] sixty ... something she - ... what? ... seventy? ... good God! ... on and on to be seventy ... something she didn't know herself ... wouldn't know if she heard ... then forgiven ... God is love ... tender mercies ... new every morning ... [0030] back in the field ... April morning ... face in the grass ... [0030] nothing but the larks ... pick it up there ... get on with it from there ... another few - ... what? ... not that? ... nothing to do with that? ... nothing she could tell? ... all right ... nothing she could tell ... try something else ... think of something else ... oh long after! ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} ... sudden flash ... not that [0030] either ... all right ... something else again ... so on ... hit on it in the end ... think everything keep on long enough ... [0031]then ^{[place = margin left] forgiven ...} back in the - ... what? ... not that either? ... nothing to do with that? ^{[place = margin left] either? ...} nothing she could think? ... all right ... nothing she could tell ... nothing she could think ... nothing she - ... what? ... who? ... what? ... no ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} ... no! ... SHE! ^{[place = margin right] she!} ... (pause and movement 4 ) ... tiny little thing ...

[0031] out before its time ... godforsaken hole ... no love ... spared that ... speechless all her days ... practically speechless ... even to herself ... never out loud ... [0032] but not completely ... sometimes sudden urge ... once or twice a year ... always winter some strange reason ... the long evenings ... hours of darkness ... sudden urge to ... to ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} tell [0032] ... then rush out and ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} stop the first she saw ... [0033] nearest lavatory ... start pouring it out ... steady stream ... mad stuff ... half the vowels wrong ... no one could follow ... till she saw the stare she was getting ... then die of shame ... crawl back in ... once or twice a year ... always winter some strange reason ... long hours of darkness ... now [0033] this ... this ... quicker and quicker ... the words ... the brain ... flickering away like mad ... quick grab and on ... nothing there ... on somewhere else ... try somewhere else ... [0034] all the time something begging ... something in her begging ... begging it all to stop ... unanswered ... prayer unanswered ... or unheard ... too faint ... so on ... keep on ^{[place = margin left] ...} [0034] trying ... not knowing what ... what she was trying ... what to try ... whole body like gone ... just the mouth ... like maddened ... soon ^{[place = margin left] so on} ... keep - ... what? ... the buzzing? ... yes ... all the time the buzzing ... dull roar like falls ... in the skull ... and the beam ... poking around ... painless ... so far ... ha! ... so far ... all that ... keep on ... [0034] not knowing what ... what she was - ... what? ... who? ... what? ... no ... ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} no! ... ^{[place = margin right] she! ...} SHE! ^{[place = margin right] SHE! [place = margin bottom] [Capitals without underline]} ... (pause ) ... what she was trying ... what to try ... no M ^{[place = margin left] m}atter ... keep on ... [0035] (curtain starts down ) ... [0035] hit on it in the end ... then back ... God is love ... tender mercies ... new every morning ... back in the field ... face in the grass ... ^{[place = margin left] [₰]} April morning ... face in the grass ... nothing but the larks ... pick it up -