Digital Manuscript ProjectNot I / Pas moi

[0019]
now this flow ... and not hearing the half
of it ... what with the buzzing ... her own
thoughts ... not the quarter ... no idea ...
what she was saying! ...
[0020] till she began
trying to persuade herself - self-defence! ...
it was not her's at all ... not her voice
at all ... in spite of the ... peculiarities ...
of pronunciation ... and idiosyncrasies ...
and would doubtless have succeeded ...
vital she should ... [xxx] was on the
point ... after long efforts ...
[0021]
when
gradually she felt ... suddenly she felt ...
her lips moving ... her lips moving! ...
as of course till then she had not ...
any more than the rest ... and not
alone the lips ... but the cheeks ... the
jaws ....the tongue in the mou whole
face ... the tongue in the mouth ... all
that agitation without which ...
[0021]
no speech w possible ... and yet ...
in the ordinary way ... in the heat
of everyday utterance ... is not felt
at all ... so intent one is ... on what
one is saying ... the whole being so
to speak ... hanging on its words ...
so that [she] not only she had [⁁]... had she ... [xx] to give up ...
admit she alone was responsible and no other
and she alone
[0022] ...
but this other awful thought ... even
more awful perhaps ... that feeling
was coming back ... feeling was
coming back! ... beginning at the
top ... then working down ... the whole frame ... but no ...
only the face [⁁]alone ... face & mouth for the moment ...
ah ... for the moment ...
[0023] then thinking ...
some time later it is true ... it can't
go on ... much longer ... mouth on fire ...
whole face aching ... trying straining to hear ...
make something of it ... and the other
thoughts ... trying to get on with them ...
all that together ... it can't - what?
the buzzing? ... yes ... on top of all
the buzzing ... so-called! ...
[0028]
so on ... last straw ... [trying] for comfort ...
trying to think ... trying to hear ... make
some sense of it the odd word ... make
some sense of it ... whole body like gone ...
only the face ... face and mouth ... gone
mad ... no stopping it ... something she ...
[0028]
what? ... no ... no! ... something she had to ...
what? ...yes ... the buzzing ... buzzing! ... the buzzing? ... yes ...
hearing all the time the buzzing ... buzzing! ...
[roaring] ... in the skull ... and the ray ...
on and off ... no pain in that ... no sense
in that ... so far ... ah ... so far ...
[0029] then thinking ... another thought ...
and she alone
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Not I / Pas moi © 2022 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: James Little and Vincent Neyt