MS-HRC-SB-4-3

[0185] Had it been foretold to me that one day I should feel myself
living as I do to-day, I should have smiled. [0186] It would not have
been noticed, but I would have known I was smiling. [0187] I remember
them well, these last few days, they have left me more memories
than the thirty thousand odd that went before. [0188] The reverse would
have been less surprising. [0189] When I have completed my inventory, if
my death is not ready for me then, I shall write my memoirs.

[0190] That's funny, I have made a joke. [0191] No matter. [0192] There is a cupboard
I have never looked into. [0193] My possessions are in a corner, in a
little heap. [0194] With my long stick I can rummage in them, draw them
to me, send them back. [0195] My bed is by the window. [0196] I lie turned
towards it most of the time. [0197] I see roofs and sky, a glimpse of
street too, if I crane. [0198] I do not see any fields or hills. [0199] And
yet they are hear near. [0200] But are they near? I don't know. [0201] I do
not see the sea either, but I hear it when it is high.

[0202] I can
see into a rom^om of the house across the way. [0203] Queer things go on
there sometimes, [0204] people are queer. [0205] Perhaps these are abnormal.
[0206] They must see me too, my big hairy ^shaggy head up against the window-
pane. [0207] I never had so much hair as now, nor so long, I say it
without fear of contradiction. [0208] But at night they do not see
me, for I never have a light. [0209] I have studied the stars a little
here. [0210] But I cannot find my way about among them.

[0211] Studying ^{Gazing at} them
one night I suddenly saw myself in London. [0212] Is it possible I got
as far as London? [0213] And what have stars to do with that city? [0214] The
moon on the other hand has grown familiar, [0215] I am well familiar now
with her changes of aspect and orbit, I know more or less the
hours of the night when I can look for her in the sky and the
nights when she will not come. [0216] What else? [0217] The clouds. [0218] They are