Digital Manuscript ProjectMalone meurt / Malone Dies

[0185] Had it been foretold to me that one day I should feel myself
living as I do to-day, I should have smiled.
[0186] It would not have
been noticed, but I would have known I was smiling.
[0187] I remember
them well, these last few days, they have left me more memories
than the thirty thousand odd that went before.
[0188] The reverse would
have been less surprising.
[0189] When I have completed my inventory, if
my death is not ready for me then, I shall write my memoirs.
[0190] That's funny, I have made a joke.
[0191] No matter.
[0192] There is a cupboard
I have never looked into.
[0193] My possessions are in a corner, in a
little heap.
[0194] With my long stick I can rummage in them, draw them
to me, send them back.
[0195] My bed is by the window.
[0196] I lie turned
towards it most of the time.
[0197] I see roofs and sky, a glimpse of
street too, if I crane.
[0198] I do not see any fields or hills.
[0199] And
yet they are hear near.
[0200] But are they near? I don't know.
[0201] I do
not see the sea either, but I hear it when it is high.
[0202] I can
see into a romom of the house across the way.
[0203] Queer things go on
there sometimes, [0204] people are queer.
[0205] Perhaps these are abnormal.
[0206] They must see me too, my big hairy shaggy head up against the window-
pane.
[0207] I never had so much hair as now, nor so long, I say it
without fear of contradiction.
[0208] But at night they do not see
me, for I never have a light.
[0209] I have studied the stars a little
here.
[0210] But I cannot find my way about among them.
[0211] Studying Gazing at them
one night I suddenly saw myself in London.
[0212] Is it possible I got
as far as London?
[0213] And what have stars to do with that city?
[0214] The
moon on the other hand has grown familiar, [0215] I am well familiar now
with her changes of aspect and orbit, I know more or less the
hours of the night when I can look for her in the sky and the
nights when she will not come.
[0216] What else?
[0217] The clouds.
[0218] They are
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Malone meurt / Malone Dies © 2017 Samuel Beckett Digital Manuscript Project.
Editors: Dirk Van Hulle, Pim Verhulst and Vincent Neyt