MS-UoR-1227-7-12-3

[0011] which had first occurred to her...[⁁]^{sudden flash...}brought up as she
had been to believe (laugh)^{...with the other waifs (laugh)}...in a merciful (laugh)
(laugh)...God ^(laugh)...first occurred to her...then dismissed...
as fooloⁱsh...was perhaps no^t so foolish...after all...
so on...all that...

[0012] till another thought some little time
later it is true ^{long after}...very childish really but - ...what?...
ty^he buzzing?...yes...all the time the buzzing...so-called!
...in the ears...though of course actually...not in the ears

[0012] at all...in the skull...the heart of the skull...and all
the time...this beam or ray...like from a moon...but no
doubt not...just all part of the wish to...torment...B^but
not in the least...not a twinge...for the moment...ha!...
for the moment...then this other thought...very childish
really but so like her...that she might do well to groan...
on and off...(writhe she could not)...as though in actual...
agony...

[0013]but could nt^ot bring herself...to do as much as
try...some flaw in her make-up...incapable of deceit...
[0014]dead silence of course...but for the buzzing...so-called!...
[0015]no part of her moving...that she could feel...only the
eyelids...presumably...from time to time...to rest her
from the light...faint as it was...reflex they call it...
no feeling of any kind...but the lids...even at the best
of times...who feels them?...opening...shutting...all that
moisture...

[0016] but the brain still sufficiently...oh very
much so!...^{at this stage...}on the alert ^{in control}...^{under control...}to question the matter..for
on that April morning...so it reasoned...that April
morning...she fixing with her eye...a distant cowslip...
as she hastened towards it...fixing it with her eye...
lest it elude her...had not all gone out...all that light...
of itself...without any...any...on her part...and so on...

[0016] so on it reasoned...deeper and deeper down...vain question-
ings...and all dead still...thought silent as the grave...
impossible to describe...when suddenly...gradually...she
real - ...what?...the buzzing?...yes all ded^ad still but
for the buzzing...so-called!...

[0017]when suddenly she realized...
wors^ds were - what?...I? ^who?...what?...no...no ^NO!...she...realized words
were coming...WORDS WERE COMING!...a voice she did not
recognize...at first...it was so long...since she had
uttered...[0018]but had finally to admit...to herself...s^could
be no other...than her own...certain vowel sounds...she
had never heard...elsewhere...so that people would look

[0018]at her^{...on the rare occasions}...uncomprehending...an unbroken flow ^stream ...she who had
never been...a talker...on the contrary...practⁱcally
speechless..all her days...how she survived[0019]...even shop-
ping...busy shopping centre^...supermart...just handed in the list...
with the shopping bag...then stood there waiting...any
length of time...motionless...staring into space...till
it was back in her hand...the bag...theⁿ paid and went...