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[0408] What prevents the miracle is the spirit of
[p. 16r] method to which I have benn 
perhaps a little too given [place = supralinear] addicted. [0409] The fact that Prometheus was delivered twenty-nine thousand
nine hundred and seventy years after having purged his
offence leaves me naturally as cold as camphor. [0410] For between
me and that wretch [place = supralinear] miscreant who mocked the gods, invented fire, denatured clay, [place = supralinear] and domesticated the horse, in a word obliged humanity,
I trust there is nothing in common. [0411] But the thing is worth mentioning. [0412] In a word: [place = overwritten] , can I [place = supralinear] shall I be able to speak of me, of this place, without eliminating us? [place = supralinear] putting an end to us, [place = supralinear] and shall I ever be able to go silent? [place = inline] , [place = supralinear] and is
there any connexion between thes e these two questions? [0413] Nothing like cruxes [place = supralinear] issues. [0414] There are a few to be going on with,
perhaps one only.
[0415] All these Murphys, Molloys and Malone [place = inline] s do not fool me. [0416] They have made me waste my time, suffer for nothing, by allowing
me to speak of them when [place = inline] , I should have spoken of me and [place = supralinear] of me
only [place = supralinear] alone, o [place = overwritten] in order to stop speaking . [0417] But I just said I have spoken
of me, am speaking of me. [0418] I don't care a curse what I just
said. [0419] It is now I shall speak of me, for the first time. [0420] I thought it would be a help to engage [place = supralinear] I was right in enlisting these sufferers of
my pains. [0421] I was wrong. [0422] They have [place = supralinear] did not sug [place = overwritten] ffered my pains, their
pains are nothing, compared to mine, no more than a fraction [place = supralinear] a mere tittle
of mine, the fraction [place = supralinear] tittle I thought I could put from me, in order
to contemplate [place = supralinear] see it. [0423] Let them go [place = supralinear] go now [place = supralinear] be gone now,, them and all the others, those
who have served me, those who bide their time [place = supralinear] I have used & those I have not used,, [place = supralinear] let them give me back
the pains I laid on [place = supralinear] lent them and vanish, from my life, my memory,
my terros and shames. [0424] There, now there is no one here but
me, no one wheels about me, no one comes towards me, no one
[p. 17r] has ever ù [place = supralinear] met anyone before my eyes. [0425] These crear [place = overwritten] tures have
never been, [0426] [place = supralinear] only I and this opaque [place = supralinear] black void are all that have ever
been. [0427] And the sounds? [0428] No, all is silent. [0429] And the lights,
on which I was so counting [place = supralinear] had set such hopes, must the [place = supralinear] y be extinguished [place = supralinear] put out? [0430] Yes,
they must [place = supralinear] out with them,, there are [place = supralinear] is no : [place = overwritten] lights eh here. [0431] No grey either, black
is what I should have said. [0432] Nothing then but me, of whom I know
nothing, except that I have never spoken [place = supralinear] uttered, and this black, of
which I know nothing either, except that it is black, and empty. [0433] That then is what, having [place = supralinear] since I have to speak, I shall speak of, until I
no longer have to speak [place = supralinear] need speak no more. [0435] And Basil and consorts [place = supralinear] his gang? [0436] Inexistent,
inc [place = overwritten] vented to explain I g [place = overwritten] forget what. [0437] Ah yes, [0438] all lies, [0439] God and
man, nature and the light of day, the heart's outpourings and
the means of understanding, all invented, basesly , by me alone,
with the help of nobody, since there is nobody, so as not to [place = supralinear] to put off the hour when I
[place = supralinear] [⁁] must speak of myself [place = supralinear] me. [0440] There will be no more about them.
[0441] I, of whom I know nothing, I know my eyes are open, because
of the tears that flow [place = supralinear] pour from them unceasing[⁁] [place = supralinear] ly. [0442] I know I am seated,
my hands on my knees, because of the pressure against my but- [place = supralinear] rump
tocks, against the soles of my feet, against the palms of my
hands, against my knees. [0443] Against my my palms the pressure s [place = overwritten] is
of my knees, against my knees of my palms , but what is it that
presses against my buttocks [place = supralinear] rump, against the sole [place = supralinear] s of my g [place = overwritten] feet? [0444] I
don't know. [0445] My back is not supported. [0446] I meantion these details
to make sure I am not lying on my back, my legs raised and bent
at the knees, and my eyes closed. [0447] It is as well to establish the
position of the body from the outset, before passing on to
more important matters. [0448] But what makes me say that I look [place = supralinear] gaze
[p. 18r] straight before me, as I have said? [0449] I feel my back straight,
my necj [place = overwritten] k straight [place = supralinear] rigid [place = margin left] erect [place = margin left] [Stet] and untwisted [place = supralinear] free of twist and up on top of it the head, like
the ball of the cup-and-ball in its cup[⁁] [place = supralinear] socket [place = supralinear] cup at the op top [place = supralinear] at the end [place = supralinear] at the top of the
little rod [place = supralinear] stick. [0450] These comparisons are out of place [place = supralinear] uncalled for. [0451] Then there is
the way of flowing of my tears which flow all over my g [place = overwritten] face, and
even down along the neck, in a way it seems to me they could not
do, if the face were bowed, or thrown back [place = supralinear] lifted up. [0452] But I must not confue
confuse the straightness of the [place = supralinear] erectness [place = supralinear] erect [place = supralinear] unbowed head with the levelness of the
gaze, nor the vertical plane with the horizontal. [0453] This question
in any case is secondary, since I see nothing. [0454] Amd I clothed? [0455] I have often asked myself this question, then suddenly started
talking about Malone's hat, or Molloy's greatcoat, or Murphy's
suit. [0456] If I am, I am [place = supralinear] but lightly so. [0457] For I feel my tears trickling [place = supralinear] coursing
over my chest, my sides, and all down my back. [0458] Ah yes, I am truly
bathed in tears. [0459] They gather in my beard and from there [place = supralinear] thence, when
it can hold no more — no, I have no beard, no hair either, it
is a great smooth ball that I carry on my shoulders, featureless,
except [place = supralinear] but for the eyes, of which only the sockets remain. [0460] And but
for the distant evidence of my palms, my sl soles,[⁁] [place = supralinear] which I haven't yet been able to get rid of I would gladly
give mt [place = overwritten] yself the shape, if not the conso [place = overwritten] istency, of an egg, with
two holes no matter where to prevent it from bursting, [0461] for the
consistency is [place = supralinear] looks [place = supralinear] is more like that of mucilage. [0462] But softly, softly,
otherwise I shall [place = supralinear] I'll never arrive. [0463] [place = supralinear] never get thereSo as far as [place = supralinear] In the matter of clothes are concerned [place = supralinear] then
I can think of nothing [place = supralinear] for the moment but [place = supralinear] possibly puttees for the moment, with perhaps
a few rags clin [place = supralinear] ging to me here and there. [0464] I shall say n [place = overwritten] No more
obscenities either. [0465] Why should I have a sex, who have no longer
a nose? [0466] All those things have fallen, all the things that stick o
out, with my eyes
[p. 19r] out, with my eyes my hair, without leaving a trace, fallen so
far so deep that I heard nothing, perhaps are falling still,
my hair slowly like soot still, of the fall of my ears heard
nothing. [0467] No need, I feel my mean soul still, [⁁] [place = supralinear] Mean words, and needless, from the mean old spirit, I invented love,
music, the smell of flowering currant, to escape from me. [0468]
Oe [place = overwritten] rgans, a without, it's [place = supralinear] it's easy to imagine, others, a g [place = overwritten] God, it's
unavoidable, you imagine them, it's easy, the trouble dies [place = supralinear] worst is dulled,
away, you doze away, an instant. [0469] Yes, God, fomenter of calm, I n
never believed, not an instant. [0470] I shall make no more pauses
either. [0471] Can I keep nothing then, nothing of what has carried [place = supralinear] borne
my poor thouhgts , bent beneath my words, while I hid? [0472] I shall [place = supralinear] I'll
dry thes e these streaming sockets too, bung them [place = supralinear] [⁁]up, there, it's
done, no more tears, I'm a book [place = supralinear] big talking ball, talking about
things that do not exist, or that exist perhaps, that is [place = supralinear] impossible to know, not
beside the point. [0473] Ah yes, quick let me change my tune. [0474] And after
all why a ball, rather than something else, and why big? [0475] Why
not a cylinder, a small cylinder? [0476] An egg, a medium-sized egg? [0477] No no, that's the old nonsense, I always knew I was round, solid
and round, without daring to say so, smooth and whole [place = supralinear] no asperities,, no apert- [place = supralinear] openings
ures, invisible perhaps, or as vast as Sirius in the Great Dog,
these expressions mean nothing. [0478] All that matters is for me to [place = supralinear] that I am
be hard[ [place = supralinear] 2] and round[ [place = supralinear] 1], there are certainly [place = supralinear] must be reasons for that, for
my being hard[ [place = supralinear] 2] and round[ [place = supralinear] 1] rather than of some irregular shape and
liable [place = supralinear] subject to the dents and bulges caused by the various kinds of [place = supralinear] incident to shock
collision, but I have done with reasons. [0479] All the rest can be [place = supralinear] I renounce
discarded, including this ridiculous black which I thought for
a moment worthier than grey to enfold me.
[p. 20r] a moment more worthy [place = supralinear] worthier than grey to enfold me. [0480] What nonsense [place = supralinear] rubbish
all this business [place = supralinear] stuff about light and dark. [0481] And how I have
wallowed in it. [0482] But f [place = overwritten] do I roll, like [place = supralinear] in the manner of a true ball? Or am I in
equilibrium somewhere, on one of my innumerable [place = supralinear] numberless poles? [0483] I
feel strongly tempted to know [place = supralinear] enquire [place = supralinear] discover. [0484] What a chunk [place = supralinear] slice of discourse [place = supralinear] reams I
could squeeze [place = supralinear] elicit from this apparently so legitimate preoccupation. [0485] But which would not be credited to me. [0486] No, between me and
the right to silence, the living rest [place = supralinear] to rest before I end, stretches the same old
lesson, the lesson [place = supralinear] one I knew by heart and would not say, I don't
know why, [place = supralinear] perhaps for fear of the silence perhaps, or thinking any old
thing would do, and so lies for preference, in order to remaij [place = overwritten] n hidden. [place = inline] , [0487] No [place = supralinear] no importance. [0488] But now I shall say my lesson, if
I can remember it. [0489] Under the skies, on the roads, in the towns,
in the woods, in the mountains [place = supralinear] hills, in the plains, by the seas [place = supralinear] shores,
on the waves [place = supralinear] sea, behind my mannikins, I was not always sad, I
wasted [place = supralinear] ing my time, abjured [place = supralinear] ing my rights, suffered [place = supralinear] ing for nothing, forgot [place = supralinear] getting my lesson. [Stet] [0490] Then a little hee [place = overwritten] ll after my own heart, [place = supralinear] not too cruel, with
a few nice damned to hang [place = supralinear] foist my groans on, something sighing off
and on and the far off [place = supralinear] distant gleams of pity's flames fires biding
their hour to promote us to ashes. [0491] I speak, speak, because I
must, but I do not listen, I seek after my lesson, my life I
used to know and would not confess, whence possibly an
occasional slight lack of limpidity. [0492] And perhal [place = overwritten] ps now once
again I shall do no more than seek after my lesson, and fail [place = supralinear] never
to say it, to the self-accompaniment of a language [place = supralinear] tongue that is
not mine. [0493] But instead of saying what I should not say have
said, and what I shall say no more, [place = supralinear] if I can, and what I shall say
perhaps, if I can, should In I not rather say some other
thing, even though it be [place = supralinear] is not yet the right thing? [0494] I shall [place = supralinear] I'll [Stet]
try, I shall [place = supralinear] I'll try in another present, even though it be not
yet mine, without pauses, without tears, without eyes, without reasons. [0495] Let us assume [place = supralinear] it be assumed [Stet] then that I am at rest, [place = supralinear] though it's unimportant though this is, at rest or rolling never still, through the
air or in contact with other surfaces, or that I sometimes
roll [place = supralinear] move, sometimes rest, since I fel [place = overwritten] el nothing, neither quietude
[p. 21r] nor change, nothing that can serve as a pi [place = overwritten] oint of departure
towards an opinion on this subject, which would not greatly
matter if I disposed of [place = supralinear] possessed some general notions, and with that [place = supralinear] then
the use of my reason, but there it is, I feel nothing [place = inline] , [place = supralinear] know nothing, and as
far as thinking is concerned I do [place = supralinear] it just enough to keep me
from going silent, you can't call that thinking.
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