[1897] Tears gush from it
practically without ceasing, whh [place = overwritten] y is not known, nothing is known,
whether it's with rage, or whether it's with grief, the fact is
there, perhaps it's the voice that makes him weep, with rage, or
some other passion, or having to see, from time to time, some sight
or other, perhaps that's it, perhaps he weeps in order not to see,
[p. 83r] though it seems difficult to credit him with an initiative of this
importance [place = supralinear] complexity. [1898] The rascal, he's getting humanized, he's going to lose
if he doesn't watch out, if he doesn't take care, and with what could
he take care, with what could he form the faintest conception of
the condition they are entangling him in, with their ears, their
eyes, their tears and a kind of brainpan where anything may happen. [1899]
That's his stren [place = supralinear] gth, his only strength, that he understands nothing,
can't take thought, doesn't know what they want, doesn't know they
are there, feels nothing, ah but just a moment, he feels, he suffers,
the noise makes him suffer, and he knows, he knows it's a voice, and
he understands, a few expressions here and there, a few intonations,
ah it looks bad, bad, no, perhaps not, for it's they describe him
thi [place = overwritten] us, without knowing, thus because they wish him thus, perhaps he
knows nothing, suffers nothing, and this eye, more mere imagination. [1900] He hears, true, though it's they again who say it, but this can't
be denied, this is better not denied. [1901] Worm hears, that's all can be
said for certain, whereas there was a time he didn't, the same Worm,
according to them, he has therefore changed, that's grave, gravid,
who knows to what lengths he may be carried, no, he can be relied
on. [1902] The eye too, of course, is there to put him to flight, make
him take fright, badly enough to break his bonds, [place = supralinear] they want to deliver him, they call that
bonds, [place = supralinear] they want to deliver him, mother of God, they things one has to listen to, perhaps
it's tears of mirh [place = overwritten] th. [1903] Well no matter, let's get on to the end of the
joke, we must be nearly there, and see what they have to offer him,
in the way of bugaboos. [1904] Who, we? [1905] Don't all speak at once, there's
no sense in that either. [1906] All will come right, later on in the evening
evening, everyone gone and silence restored. [1907] In the meantime no
sense in bickering about pronouns and other parts of blather. [1908] The
subject doesn't matter, there is none. [1909] Wprm 
being in the singular,
as it turned out, they are in the plural, to avoid confusion, confusion is better avoided, pending the great confounding. [1910] Perhaps
there is only one of them, one would do the trick just as well, but
he might get mixed up with his victim, that would be abominable,
downright masturbation
[p. 84r] downright masturbation. [1911] We're getting on. [1912] Nothing much then in
the way of sights for sore eyes. [1913] But who can be sure who has not
been there, lived there, they call that living, for them the spark
is present, ready to burst into flame, all it needs is to be preached [place = supralinear] preaching
on enough, to become a living torch, screams included. [1914] Then they
can go silent, without having to fear an emv [place = overwritten] barrassing silence,
when steps are heard on graves as the saying is, real hell. [1915] Decidedly
this eye is hard of hearing. [1916] Noise [place = supralinear] s travels, traverse walls;, but can
the same be said of appearances? [1917] By no means, generally speaking. [1918] But the present case is rather special. [1919] But x [place = overwritten] what appearances, it
is always well to r [place = overwritten] te [place = overwritten] ry and know what one is talking about, even
at the risk of being deceived. [1920] This grey to begin with, means [place = supralinear] t to
be depressing no doubt. [1921] And yet there is yellow in it, apparently,
pink too apparently, it's a nice grey, of the kind described [place = supralinear] recommended as
going with everything, urinous and warm. [1922] In it the eye can see,
otherwise why the eye, but dimly, that's right, no superfluous
particulars, later to be controverted. [1923] A man would wonder where
his kingdom ended, his eye would strive to penetrate the gloom, and he
would give all he had [place = supralinear] sell his soul for a stick, an arm, fingers apt to grasp
and then let go release, at the right moment, a stone, stones,
or for the power to utter a cry and wait, counting the seconds,
x [place = overwritten] for it to come back to him, and suffer, certainly, at having neither
voice nor other missile, nor limbs submissive to him, bending and
unbending at the word of command, and perhaps [place = supralinear] even regret being a man,
under such conditions, that is to say a head abandoned to its
ancient solitary resources. [1924] But Worm suffers only from the noise
which prevents him from being what he was before, note the nice [place = supralinear] mark the nuance.
distinction. [1925] I [place = overwritten] If it's the same Worm, and they have set their [place = supralinear] hearts on it. [1926] And if it is not it makes no difference, he suffers as he has always suffered, from this noise that prevents nothing, that must
be feasible. [1927] In any cas [place = supralinear] e this grey can hardly add to his troubles [place = supralinear] woes [place = supralinear] misery,
brightness would be better [place = supralinear] suited for that purpose, since he cannot v [place = overwritten] close
[p. 85r] his eye. [1928] He cannot avert it either, nor lower it, nor raise it,
it remains trained for ever on the same tiny field, excluded from [place = supralinear] a stranger forever to
the boons and blessings of accol [place = overwritten] modation . [1929] But perhaps one day brightness will come, little by little, or rapidly, or in a sudden flood,
and then it is hard to see how [place = supralinear] how Worm could stay, and it is hard to
see [place = supralinear] too how he could go away. [1930] But impossible situations cannot be prolonged, unduly, the fact is well known, either they disperse, or else
they run [place = supralinear] turn out to be possible after all, it's only to be expected, not
to mention the other possibilities. [1931] Let then there be light, it will
not necessarily be disastrous. [1932] Or let there be none, we'll do without
it. [1933] But these lights, in the plural, which rear aloft, swell, sweep
down and going out hissing, reminding one of the naja, perhaps the
moment has come to throw them into the balance and have done with
this tedious equipoise, at last. [1934] No, the moment has not yet come, to
do that. [1935] Ha. [1936] None of your hoping here, that would spoil everything. [1937] Let others hope for him, outside in the cool, in the light, if they
have a wish to, or if they are obliged to, or if they are paid for [place = supralinear] to
it, yes, they must be paid for it [place = supralinear] to hope, they hope nothing, they hope
things will continue as they are, it's a soft job, their thoughts
wander as they call on Jude, it's praying they're atl at [place = supralinear] they are, praying for
Worm [place = inline] , praying to Worm, to have pity, pity on them, pity on Worm,
they call that pity, merciful God, the things one has to put up with,
fortunately it all means nothing to him. [1938] Currish obscurity, to thy
kennel, hellhound! [1939] Grey. [1940] What else. [1941] Calm, calm, there must be something else, to go with this grey, which goes with everything. [1942] There
must be something of everything here, as in every world, a little
of everything. [1943] Mighty little, it seems. [1944] Beside the point in any case. [1945] What balls is going on before this impotent crystallih [place = overwritten] ne, that's all
that needs to be imagined. [1946] A face, how encouraging that would be,
if it could be a face, every now and then, always the same, methodically varying its expressions, demonstrating in [ [place = inline] /]a systematic manner [place = supralinear] methodically
all a true face can do, without ever ceasing to be recognizable,
passing from unmixed joy to the sullen fixity of marble, via the most
characteristic shades of disenchantment, how pla [place = overwritten] easant that would be. [1947] 
[p. 86r] Worth ten of Saint Ah [place = overwritten] nthony's pig's arse. [1948] Passing by at the right
distance, the right height, say once a month, that's not exorbitant, slowly, full face and profile, like criminals. [1949] It might even
stop, open its mouth, exalt, raise its eyebrows, well upon my soul! [place = supralinear] bless its soul,
upon my soul!, stutter, mutters, howl, groan and finally shut up,
the chaps clenched to cracking point, or fallen, to let the dribble
out. [1950] That would be nice. [1952] A presence at last. [1953] A visitor, faithful,
with his visit [place = supralinear] ing-day, his visit [place = supralinear] ing-hour, never staying too long, it
would be wearisome, or too little, it would not be enough, but
just the necessary time for hope to be born, gt [place = overwritten] row, languish and die,
say five minutes. [1954] And even should the notion of time dawn on his
darkness, at this punctual reminder of the countenance everlasting,
who clou x [place = overwritten] could blame him? [1955] Involving very properly that of space,
they have j [place = overwritten] taken to going hand in hand [place = inline] , in v [place = overwritten] certain quarters, it's
safer. [1956] And the game would be won, lost and won, he'd be somehow
suddenyl among us, among the rendez-vous, and people saying, Look
at [place = supralinear] old Worm waiting for his sweetheart, and the flowers, looks at the
flowers, you'd think he was asleep, you know old Worm, waiting for
his love, and the daisies, looknat the daisies, you'd think he was
dead. [1957] That would be worth seeing. [1958] Forti [place = overwritten] unatr [place = overwritten] ely it's all a dream. [1959] For here there is no face, nor anything resembling one, nothing
that reflects the joy of living and suu [place = overwritten] ccedanea, nothing for it but
to try something else. [1960] Some simple thing, a box, a piece of wood,
to come to rest before him, for an instant, once a year, once every
two years, frequency unimportant in the early stages, a balk [place = overwritten] l, revolving one knows not how about one know [place = supralinear] s not what, about him,
every two years, every three years, frequency unimportant in the
early stages, without stopping, it needn't stop, that would be
better than nothing, he'f [place = overwritten] d hear it approaching, hear it receding,
it would be an event, he might learn to count, the minutes, the
hours, to fret, pull himself together be brave, have patience,
lose patience, turn his head, roll his eye, a big stone, and
faithful, that would be better than nothing, pending the hearts
of flesh. [1961] And even should his [place = supralinear] heart start off, [place = supralinear] his heart that is, on its walz , in his ear,
[p. 87r] tralatralay pom pom, again, tralatralay pom pom, re mi re do bang
bang, who could accuse [place = supralinear] blame him? [1963] Unfortunately we must stick to the
facts, for what else is there, to stick to, to cling to, when all
capsizes [place = supralinear] is foundering, but the facts, when there are any, above the surface,
within reach of the heart, happy expression that, of the heart crying
out, The facts are there, the facts are there, and then more calmy,
calmly, when the danger is past, [Stet] the continuation [place = supralinear] sequel, namely, in the
case before us, [place = supralinear] Here T [place = supralinear] there is no wood here, nor any stone, or if there
is, the facts are there, it as [place = supralinear] it's as if there wasn't, the facts are
there, no vegetables, no minerals, only Worm, kingdom unknown,
Worm is there, as it were, as it were. [1964] But not too fast, it's too
soon, to return, to where I am, empty [place = supralinear] -handed, in triumph, to where
I'm waiting, calmx, passably calm, knowing, thinking I know, that
nothing has happened to [place = supralinear] befallen me, that nothing will happen to [place = supralinear] befall me, nothing
good, nothing bad, nothing to be the death of me, it would be premature. [1965] I see me, I see my place, there is nothing to show it,
nothing to distinguish it, from all the other places, they are
mine, all mine, if I wish, I wish none but mine, there is nothing
to mark it, I am shtere [place = overwritten] there so little, I see it, I feel it round me,
it clasps [place = supralinear] enfolds me, it covers me, if only this voice would stop, for
a second, it would seem long to me, a second of silence. [1966] I'd listen,
I'd know if it was going to begin [place = supralinear] start again, or if it was stilled for
ever, what would I know it with, I'd know. [1967] And I'd keep on listening, to try and advance in their good graces, keep my place in
their favour, and be ready, when they judged fo [place = overwritten] it to take me in
hand again, or I'd stop, stop listening, is it possible that one
day I shall stop listenting?, without having to fear the worst,
namely, I don't know, what can be worse than this, a woman's voice
perhaps, I hadn't thought of that, they might engage a soprano. [1968] But let us leave these dreams and try again, if only I knew what
they want, they want me to be Worm, but I was, I was, what's wrong,
I was, but ill, it must be that, it can only be that, what else
can it be, but that, I didn't report in the light, the light of
day, in their midst, to hear them say, Didn't we tell you you were
[p. 88r] alive and kicking?