[2134] But the question is not there, for the moment,
[p. 98r] no one knows where it is, but it's not there, for the time
being. [2135] Yes, there's great fun to be got from an eye, it weeps
for the least little thing, a yes, a no, the yesses make it
weep, the noes too, the perhapses particularly, with the result
that the motifying (?) of grounds for these staggering pronounvcements don't
not always receive the attention it they deserves. [2136] Mahood too, I
mean Worm, Worm too, no, Mahood, Mahood too is a great weeper,
in case it hasn't been mentioned, [2137] his beard is soaking with it the stuff,
it's completely ridiculous, aespecially as it doesn't relieve him
in the least, what could it possibly relieve him of, the poor
brute is as comld as camphor a fish, incapable even of cursing his
creator, it's purely mechanical. [2138] But it's time Mahood was forgotten, he should never have been mentioned. [2139] No douobt?. [2140] But is
it possivùpossible to forget him? [2141] It is true one forgets everything. [2142] And yet it is greatly to be feared that Mahood will
never let himself be completely resorbed. [2143] Worm yes, Wormm 
will
disappear completely, as if he had never been, which indeed is
very probably the case, as if one could ever disappear completely without having been at some previous time stage. [2144] That's an easy soon
thing to say said. [2145] But Mahood too for that matter. [2146] It's not clear,
tut tut, it's not clear at all. [2147] xNo matter. Mahood will stay where
he was put, stuck up to his skull in his vase, opposite the
shambles, beseeching the passers-by, without a word, or a gesture,
or any play of features, they're not playful don't play, for someone to
perceive him visibly ostensibly, at the same time as concomitantly with the day's dish, or independlydently, for reasons unknown, perhaps in the hope of being proven
in the swim, that is to say guaranteed to sink, sooner or later,
that must be it, such notions may be entertained, without any
porrocess of thought. [2148] I myself am exceptionally given to the tear,
I should would have preferred this kept quiet dark, in their position
I should would have omitted this detail, the truth being I have no
exutory at my disposal, but literally none, nor neither the aforementioned
nor those less noble, how can one enjoy good health under such
conditions, and what is one to believe, that is not the point, [2153] 
[p. 100r] believe I've piped up beforebt they're finished.they've done with me. [2154] The master
in any case, no question we don't intend, pulling in their horns they rae, listen to them hedging
are, no question we don't intend, unless absolutely necessary driven to it,
to make the mistake of einquiring into him, he'd turn out to
be a mere high official, we'd end up by having need of needing God,
we may have lost all pride admittedly, but there are certain in- certain depths we
famies one prefers to avoid?x [↓] and though admittedly we have lost all sense of decency,
nevertheless there still are certain depths we prefer not to sink to. [2155] Let us stick keep to the family circle,
it's more intimate, we know eone another by now, no surprises
to be feared, the will has been opened, nothing for anybody. [2156] This eye, curious how this eye invites inspection, delmands
sympathy;, solicits attention,limpores implores assistance, to do what,
it's not clear, to stop weeping, have a quick look round, blaze goggle briefly
briefly an instant and be closed for ever. [2157] It's it you see and it alone,
in this face, it's from it you set out to look for a face, to
it you return having found nothing, nothing worth while, nothing
but a kind of ashen smear, perhaps it's long grey hair, hanging
in a tangle about round the mouth, greasy with ancient tears, or the
fringe of a mantles pread like a veil mantle spread like a veil,
or fingers opening and shutting closing to try and shut out the world,
, or all together, fingers, hair and rags, mingled inextricably. [2158] Suppositions all equally inane, it's enough to enounce them to
regret having spoken, familiar torment, a different past, it's
often to be wished, different from yours, when you find it out. discover it (what it is)
when you find out what it was. [2159] He is haireless, and naked and his hands, laid flat on his knees once
and for all, are in no danger of mischief getting into miaschief. [2160] Then where is And the face? [2161] Balls, all all balls, I don't believe in the
eye either, , there's nothing here, nothing to see, nothing that to see with
sees, it's a blessed coincidence, when you think what it would
be, a world without looker-on [⁁] a witness onlooker (fxx gawker) spectator, and vice versa, brrr! [2162] No spectator
then, and what is more better still no spectalecle, good riddance. [2163] If this noise
could stop there'd be nothing more to say. [2164] I wonder what the all the chat
is all about at the moment. [2165] Worm presumably. [2166] Maghood is being abandoned,. [2167] And I await my turn. [2168] Yes, I do not despair, all things considered,
of drawing their attention to my case, some fine day. [2169] Not that it
[p. 101r] offers the least interest, hey, something wrong there, not
that it is particularly interesting, I'll accept that, but
it's my turn, I too have the right to be shown impossible. [2170] This will never end, there's no point in codding [⁁] fooling oneself, yes
it will, they'll see [⁁] come round to it, after me it will be the end, they'll give
up, they'll say saying, All that's inexistent It's all a bubble, we've been told a lot
of lies, he's been told a lot of lies, who he, the master, by
whom, no one knows, the eternal third party, he 's the one res- to blame
ponsible for this state of affairs, the master's not to blame,
neither are they, neither am I, least of all I, we were foolish
to accuse one another, the master me, them, himself, they me,
the master, themselves, I them, the master myself, we are all
innocent, enough. [2171] Innocent of what, no one knows exactly, of
wanting to know, to wanting to be able, of all this noise about
nothing, of this long offence against the silence that enfolds
us all, we won't enquire ask any more, what it covers, this innocence
we have fallen to, it coversx everything, all faults, all questions, it puts an end to questions. [2172] Then it will be over, thanks
to me it will be all over, they'll depart, one by one, or they'll
drop, hthey'll let themseleves drop, where they stand, and never
move again, thanks to me, who could nunderstajnd nothing, of all
they deemed it their duty to tell [⁁] me, do nothing, of all they deemed
it their duty to tell me to do, and upon us all the silence will
fall again, and settle, like dust of sand, on the arena, after
the massacres. [2173] Bewitching prospect if there ever was one, they
are beginning to come round to my opinion, after all it's possible
I have one, they make me say, If onyl this, of only that, but
the idea is theirs, no, the idea is not theirs either. [2174] As far as
I epersonally am concerned there is every likelihood of my being
incapable of desiring or deploring anything whatsoever?. [2175] For it
would seem difficult for someone, if I may so edescribe myself,
to aspire towards a situation of hwhich, notwithstanding the
ehtusiastic enthusiastic descriptions lavished on him, he has not the remotest idea, or to desire with a straight face the cessation of
that other, equally unintelligible, assigned to him in the begin-
[p. 102r] begiinning and never modified. [2176] This silence they are always
talking about, from swhich supposedly he came, to which he
will return when his act is over, he doesn't know what it is,
nor what he is meant to do, in order to deserve it. [2177] That's the
bright boy of the class speaking now, he's the one is oalways called to the rescue when things are going badly, he talks all the
time of deservingness merit and situations, he has saved morethan one,
of suffering too, he knows how to fla stimulate the flagging
spirit, stop the rot, with the use simple use of this big bold mighty
word alone, even if he has to add, a moment later, when the danger
is past, But what suffering, since he has always suffered,
wghich throws rather a gloom over damps the porceedings rejoicings. [2178] But he soons
makess up for it, he puts all to rights again, invoking the
celebrated notions of quantity, habuit-formation,and wear [⁁] and tear, and
others too numerous for him to mention, and which he is thus
in a position, in the the next belch, to decalre inapplicable to the
case before him, for he doesn't know what it is to be at his there is no end to his wit.
wit's end. [2179] But, see above, have theyb not already bent over me
till black and blue in the face, nay, have they ever done anything else,
during the past — no, no tixme indictaions whatever you do, dates for pity's sake, and,
anotehr question, what am I doing in Mahood's story, and in
Worm's, or rather what are they doing in mine, theyre are some
irons in hethe fire [⁁] to be going on with, let them melt. (There are some fish to fry,
let them rot.) DOODLE 14 [2180.1] Oh I know, I know, attention please, for the this may mean
spilling of the beans, something, I know, there's nothing new there, it's
all part of the same old eloquent irresistible boloney, namelyBut my dear
namely, But my dear man, come, be reasonaleble, look, this is
the pghotograph is you, look at this photograph, and here's your
file, no convictions, I assure you, come now, make an effort,
at you at your age, to have no idenity identity, it's a scandal,
I assure you, look at this photograph, what, you see nothing,
true for you, no maytter, here, look at this death's-head, you'll
see, you'll be all right, it won't last long, here, look, here's
the record, insults oto policemen, indecent behaviour exposure, sins
against holy ghost, contempt of court, impertinence to superiors,
impudence to inferiors, deviations from reason, without
[p. 103r] battery, look, no barttery, it's nothing, you'll be all right,
you'll see, I beg your pardon, does he work, Ggood God no, out
of the question, [2180.2] look, here's the mediacl report, spasmodic tabes,
painless ulcers (gommes), I repeat, painless, all is painless;,
multiple softenings, niumerous hardenings, insensitive to blows,
sight failing, chronic indigestion, light diet, shit well tolerated, hearing failing, heart irregular, sweet-tempered, smell
failing, xsoun d sleeper, no erections, would you like some more,
commission in the territorials, inoperabele, untrahnsportable, look,
here'st the face, no no, the other end, I assure you, it's a
bargain, I beg your pardon, does he drink, good God yes, passionately, I beg your pardon, father and mother, both dead, at seven
months interval, he at the [/]conception, she at the nativity, I
assure you, you won't do better, at your age, to have no hiuman
shape, the pity of it, look, here's the photograph, you'll see,
you'll be all right, what does it amount to, after wall, a painfuml moment, on the surface, then peace, underneath, it's the only
way, take my word, the only way out, I beg your pardon, have I
nothing else, why certainly, certainly, just a second, I was
wondering myself, just a second, if you were not rather, just a
second, here we are, this one here, but I wanted to make sure,
what, you don't understand, neither do I, no matter, it's no time
for levity, yes, I was right, no doubt this time, it's you all over, [2180.3] look,
here's the photograph, have a look at that, he's on his last legs, he's dying on his feet,
you'd better hurry, it's a bargain, and so on, so on, till I'm
tempted, no, it's not true, all lies, they know it well, I never understood,
I haven't stiirred, I'm all right, I'll be all right, when they
depart, I haven't stirred, all I've said, said I've done, said
I've been, it's they who said it, I've said nothing, I haven't
stiirred, they don't understand, I can't stir, they think I don't
want to, that their conditions don't suit me, that they'll hit
on others, in the end, to my liking, then I'll stir, they'll
have put me in their pocket, off the cushion, that's how I see
it, no, I see nothing, they don't ubderstand , I can't go towards
[p. 104r] them, they'll have to come and get me, if they want me,
it's not Mahhood will ever bring Mahood won't get me out, nor Worm either, they set
great hopes on Worm, to tempt coax me out, he was something new, different from all
the others, meant to be, perhaps he was, for me it's the they're all the same,
they don't understand, I can't stir, I'm all right here, I'd be
all right, if they'd leave me, let them come and get me, if they
want me, they'll find nothing, then they can depart, with an
esay mind.