MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

[1714] am near the end. [1715] So I husband my strength, for the sprint. [1716] For to
be unable to sprint, when the hour strikes, no, you might just as well
give up. [1717] But it is forbidden to give up and even to stop an instant.
[1718] So I wait, jogging along, for the bell to say, Molloy, one last effort,
it's the end. [1719] That's how I reason, with the help of images little
suited to my situation.

[1720] And I can't shake off the feeling, I don't
know why, that the day will come for me to say what is left of all I
had. [1721] But I must first wait, to be sure there is nothing more I can
acquire, or lose, or throw away, or give away. [1722] Then I can say, without
fear of error, what sⁱs left, in the end, of my possessions. [1723] For it will
be the end.

[1724] And between now and then I may get poorer, or richer, oh
not to the extent of being any better off, or any worse off, but
sufficiently to preclude me from announcing, here and now, what is left
of all I had, for I have not yet had all. [1725] But I can make no sense of
this presentiment, and that is very often the case with the best
presentiments I believe, that you can make no sense of them. [1726] So perhaps
it is a true presentiment, apt to be verified.

[1727] But can any more sense
be made of false presentiments? [1728] I think so, yes, I think that all that
is false may more readily be reduced, to notions clear and distinct,
distinct from all other notions. [1729] But I may be wrong. [1730] But I was not
given to understand presentiments, but to sentiments sweet and simple,
to episentiments rather, if I may venture to say so. [1731] For I knew in
advance, which made all presentiment superfluous.

[1732] I will even go further
(what can I lose?), I knew only in advance, for when the time came I
knew no longer, you may have noticed it, or only when I made a superhuman
effort, and when the time was past I no longer knew either, I regained
my ignorance. [1733] And all that taken together, if that is possible, should
serve to explain many things, and notably my astonishing old age, still
green in places, assuming the state of my health, in spite of all I have