MS-WU-MSS008-3-49

[1675] here and now the impressive list of them it is because I shall never
draw it up. [1676] No, I shall never draw it up, yes, perhaps I shall. [1677] And
then I should be sorry to give a wrong idea of my health which, if it
was not exactly rude, to the extent of my bursting with it, was at bottom
of an incredible robustness. [1678] For otherwise how could I have reached the
enormous age I have reached. [1679] Thanks to moral qualities? [1680] Hygienic habits?

[1681] Fresh air? [1682] Undernourishment? [1683] Lack of sleep? [1684] Solitude? [1685] Persecution?
[1686] The long silent screams (dangerous to scream)? [1687] The daily longing for
the earth to swallow me up? [1688] Come come. [1689] Fate is rancorous, but not to
that extent. [1690] Look at Mama. [1691] What rid me of her, in the end. [1692] I sometimes
wonder. [1693] Perhaps they buried her alive, it wouldn't surprise me. [1694] Ah the
bitch, a nice dose she gave me, she and her lousy unconquerable genes.

[1695] Bristling with pimples ever since I was a baby, a fat lot of good that
did me. [1696] The heart beats, and what a beat. [1697] That my ureters — no, not
a word on that subject. [1698] And the capsules. [1699] And the bladder. [1700] And the
urethra. [1701] And the glans. [1702] Santa Maria. [1703] I give you my word, I can't
piss, my word of honour. [1704] But my prepuce, sat b^verbum, oozes urine, day
and night, at least I think it's urine, it smells of kidney. [1705] What's
all this, I thought I had lost the sense of smell.

[1706] Can one speak of
pissing, under these conditions? [1707] Rubbish! [1708] My sweat too, and I sweat
all the time, has a queer smell. [1709] I think it's in my dribble as well,
and God knows I dribble. [1710] How I eliminate, to be sure, uremia will never
be the death of me. [1711] Me too they would bury alive, in despair, if there
was any justice in the world.

[1712] And this list of my weak points which I
shall never make, for fear of being polished off, I shall perhaps, one
day, when the time comes for the inventory of my goods and chattels.
[1713] For that day, if it ever dawns, I shall be less afraid, of being polished
off, than I am today. [1714] For today, if I do not feel precisely at the
beginning of my career, I have not the presumption either to think I