Samuel Beckett
Digital Manuscript Project
L'Innommable / The Unnamable

MS-HRC-SB-5-10

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[2071] How many[p. 93r] of us are there alrtogether, finally? [2072] And who is talking speaking at present the moment? [2073] And to whom? [2074] And about what? [2075] These are futile teasers. [2076] Let them put in my mouth at last the words that will save me, damn me, and no more talk about it, no more talk about anything. [2077] But this is muy punishment, my crime is my punishment, it's that that's what they judge me for, I expiate sinfully vilely, like a pig, dumb, uncomprehending, possessed of no other utterance but than their theirs?. [2078] They'll clap me in a dungeon, I'm in a dungeon, I've always been in a dungeon, I hear everything, every word they say, it's the only sound, as if I were speaking, to myself, out loud, in the end you don't know any more, a voice that never stops, where it's coming from. [2079] Perhaps there are others here, with me, it's dark, very properluy, it is not neceassrily an oubliette for one, or one other, perhaps I have a companion in misfortune, fond of given to talkigng, or condemned to talk, you know, any old thing no matter what, out loud, without ceasing, but I think not, what do I think not, that I have a companion in misfortune, that's it, that would surprise me, they are nasty to me, loathe me, but not to that extent, they say that would surprise me. [2080] I must doze off eevery now and then, , with my eyes open. [2083] And yet nothing xchanges, ever. [2084] That is to say one forgets. [2085] Holes Gaps, there have always been holes gaps, it's the voice stopping, it's the voice failing to carry to me, what can that matter, perhaps it's important, the result is the same, one perhaps that doesn't count, exceptionally. [2087] They shut me up here, now they rae trying to get me out, to shut me up somewhere else, or to let me go, they are capable of putting me out just to see what I'd do. [2088] Standing with their backs to the door, their arms folded, their legs crossed, they would observe me. [2089] or all they did was to find me here, on their arrival, or long afterwards. [2090] Therey are not interested in me, only in the place, they want the place for one of their own. [2091] What can one do, but speculate, speculate, until one hits on the happy speculation. [2092] When all goes silent,and comes to an end, it will be because the words will have been said, those it behoved to say, no need to know which, no means of knowing which, they'll be there somewhere,[p. 94r] in the heap, in the torrent, not necessarily the last, they have to be authenticated by the proper authority, that takes time, he's afar off [] at a distance, the proper authority, they bring him the verbatim report of the proceedings, once a every so long,, he knows the words that count, it's he who chose them, in the meantime the voice continues, while the messnger goes towards the master, and while the master reads the report, and while the messenger comes back with the verdict, the words continue, the wrong words, until the order arrives, to stop everything, or to continue everything, no, superfyluous, everything will continue automatically, until the order arrives, to stop everything. [2093] They are perhaps they there, somewhere, the words that count, in what they have just said the last fifty,, [Stet] the words it behoved to say, they need not be more than a few. [2094] They say they, speaking of them, to make me think it is I who am speaking. [2095] Or I say they, speaking of God knows what, to make me think it is not I who am speaking. [2096] Or rather there is silence, from the moment the messenger departs until he returns with his orders, namely, Continue. [2097] For there are long silences from time to time, truces, and then I hear them whispering, some perhaps whispering, It's over, this time we've hit the mark, and the others, We'll have to do it all over again, in other words, or in the same words words, arranged differently. [2098] Respite then once a [] every so long, if one can call rthat respite, when one waits to know one's fate, saying, Perhaps it's not that at all, and saying, Where do these words come from that pour out of my mouth, and what do they mean, no, saying nothing, for the words don't carry any more, if one can ca call that waiting, when there is no reason, and one listens, hthat stet, without reason, as fro one has always listened, because one day the listening began, because it cannot stop, that's not a reason, if one can call that respite. [2099] But what is what's all this business abotut not being able to die, live, be born, that must have some bearing, this business about staying where you are, dying, living, being born, unable to go forward or back, not knowing where you came from, or where you are, or where you're going, and or that it's[p. 95r] ^possible to be elsewhere, to be otherwise, supposing nothing, asking yourself nothing, you can't, you are 're there, who you don't know who, where you don't know [] where, the thing stays where it is, nothing changes it, within in, about it, apparently, apparently. [2100] And the only thing is [] there is nothing left but to wait for thee end, the only thing is nothing left but for for the end to come, anad and at the end it all will be the same [] thing, ast the end at last perhaps all the same thing as before, as all that livelong time when the only thing was there was nothing but left but to get tot the end, or fly from it, or wait for it, trembling or not, resigned or not, the nuisance of doing over, and of being, same thing, for one who could never do, never be. [2101] If it this voice could only stop, this voice which means nothing, which prevents you from being nothing, and nowhere, badly, barely, just barely prevents it, this meaningless voice which prevents you from being nothing, just barely prevents you from being nothing & nowhere just enough to keep alight this little yellow flame feebly darting to right and left, panting, as if straining to tear itself from its wick, strange little flame, it should never have been lit, or it should never have been fed, or it should have been put out, put out, it hshould have been let go out. [2102] Regretting, that's what helps you on, that's what gets you on towards the end of the world, regretting what its, regretting what was, it's not the same thing, yes, it's the same, you don't know, you don't know what's happening, you don't know what's happened, perhaps it's the same, the same regretting, that's what transports you, towards the end of regretting. [2103] But let us have a little animation now for pity's sake, it's now or never, a little spirit, it won't produce anything, noyt a budge, that doesn't matter, we are not grocers, and one never knows, does one, no. [2104] Perhaps Mahood will emerge from his ruurn and make his way toxwards Montmartre, on his belly, singing, I come, I come, my heart's delight. [2105] Or Worm, good old Worm, perhaps he won't be able to bear any more, of not being able, of not being able to bear any more, it would be a pity to miss that. [2106] If I were they I'd set the rats on him, water rats, sewer rats, they're the best, oh not too many, twel a dozen or a dozen and a half, that lmight help him to make up his mind, to get going, and what an introduction, to his future attributes. [2107] No, it would be in vain, a ra[p. 96r] be in vain, a rat wouldn't survive there, not a second one second. [2108] But let's have another squint at his eye, that's the place to look. [2109] A little raw perhaps, the white, with all the pissing, there's a gleam there [] at last, one hesitates to say of intelligence. [2110] Apart from that the smame as ever. [2111] A trifle more prominent perhaps, more paraphimotically globose. [2112] It seems to listen. DOODLE 13 [2113] It's weakening, that's unavoidable, glazing, it's hight time to offer it something to bring it clean out of its socket, in ten years it will be too late. [2114] The mistake they make is to speak of him as if he really existed, in a specific place, whereas the whole thing is no more than a project for the moment. [2116] But let them bmlunder on totx the end of their foolishness, after then that they can go into the question again, taking care not to compromise themselves by the use of terms, if not of notions, accessible to the understanding. [2117] Similarly the case of Mahood has been insufficiently studied. [2118] One may experience the need of such creatures, assuming they are twain, and even the presentiment of their possible reality, without all thiese blind and surly disquisitions. [2119] A little more reflecytion would have shown them that the hour to speak, far from having struck, would perhaps never strike. at all. [2120] But they are compelled to speak, it is forbidden them they are forbidden to stop. [2121] Why then not speak of something else, something the existne existence of which seems in a certain measure to be already established, on the subject of which one may chatter away without blushing purple every thirty or forty thousand words at having to empoly employ such locutions, and which moreover, supreme guarantee, has already caused the glibbest tongues to wag from time immemorial, it would be preferable. [2122] It's the old story, they want to be entertained, while doing their dirty work, no, not entertained, soothed, no, that's not it either, comforted solaced, no, even less, no matter, with the rsult that they achieve neither nothing, neither what they want, without knowing exactly what, nor the obscure and loathsome labour to which they are committed, the old story. [2123] You wouldn't think they were the same crowd it was the same gang as a wom moment ago, would you.? [2124] [p. 97r] What can uyou expect, they don't know who they are either, nor where they are, nor what they're doing, nor why everything is going so badly, so abominably badly, that must be it. [2125] So So they build up hypotheses that collapse on top of one another, it's hiuman, a lobster couldn't do it. [2126] We're in a nice mess, [] Ah a nice mess we're in, the whole lot of us, is it possible we're all in the same boat, no, we're in a nice mess each one in his particular own peculiar way. [2127] I myself have been scandalously bungled, they must be beginning to realize it, I upon whom all depends dangles (?), better still, about wjhom, much better, all turns, giddily dizzily, yes yes, don't protest, all whirls spins, it's a head, I'm in a head, what an illumination, ssst, pissed on out of hand. [2128] Ah this blind voice, and these moments of held breath when everybody all listens wildly, and the voice that begins to fumble again, without knowing what it's looking for, and again the tiny silence, and the listening again, for what, nobody knows, a sign of life perhaps, that must be it, a sign of life escaping somebody, and bound to be denied if it came, that's it surely, if all that could only stop, there'd be peace, no, [] too good to be true, peace would be unbleievable, it wouldn't be beli it wouldn't be believed, the listening would go on, for the voice to begin again, for as a sign of life, for somebody to betray himself, or for something else, anything, what else can there be but signs of life, the fall of a pin, the stirring of a leaf, or the little cry that frogs give when the scythe cuts slices them in two half, or when they are spiked, in the water their pools, with a spear, one could multiply the examples, but there it is, one can't. it would evebn be an excellent idea, but there it is, one can't. [2129] Perhaps it would be better to beb blind, the blind hear better, lot of general knowledge knocking about wide information we have, full of information general knowledge we are this evening, we have piano tuners up our sleeve, they strike A and hear G, two minutes later, there's nothing to be seen in any case, this eye is an oversight. [2130] But this isn't Worm speaking. [2131] True, so far, who denies it, it would be premature. [2132] Nor I, for that matter, [2133] and Mahhood is notoriously aphonic. [2134] But the question is not there, for the moment,[p. 98r] no one knows where it is, but it's not there, for the time being.

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