[2071] How many
[p. 93r] of us are there alrtogether, finally? [2072] And who is talking speaking at
present the moment? [2073] And to whom? [2074] And about what? [2075] These are futile teasers. [2076] Let them put in my mouth at last the words that will save me,
damn me, and no more talk about it, no more talk about anything. [2077] But this is muy punishment, my crime is my punishment, it's that that's what
they judge me for, I expiate sinfully vilely, like a pig, dumb, uncomprehending, possessed of no other utterance but than their theirs?. [2078] They'll clap me in a dungeon, I'm in a dungeon, I've always been
in a dungeon, I hear everything, every word they say, it's the
only sound, as if I were speaking, to myself, out loud, in the
end you don't know any more, a voice that never stops, where it's
coming from. [2079] Perhaps there are others here, with me, it's dark,
very properluy, it is not neceassrily 
an oubliette for one, or
one other, perhaps I have a companion in misfortune, fond of given to
talkigng, or condemned to talk, you know, any old thing no matter what, out
loud, without ceasing, but I think not, what do I think not,
that I have a companion in misfortune, that's it, that would
surprise me, they are nasty to me, loathe me, but not to that extent, they
say that would surprise me. [2080] I must doze off eevery now and then,
, with my eyes open. [2083] And yet nothing xchanges, ever. [2084] That is to
say one forgets. [2085] Holes Gaps, there have always been holes gaps, it's the
voice stopping, it's the voice failing to carry to me, what can
that matter, perhaps it's important, the result is the same, one
perhaps that doesn't count, exceptionally. [2087] They shut me up here,
now they rae trying to get me out, to shut me up somewhere else,
or to let me go, they are capable of putting me out just to see
what I'd do. [2088] Standing with their backs to the door, their arms
folded, their legs crossed, they would observe me. [2089] or all they
did was to find me here, on their arrival, or long afterwards. [2090] Therey are not interested in me, only in the place, they want
the place for one of their own. [2091] What can one do, but speculate,
speculate, until one hits on the happy speculation. [2092] When all
goes silent,and comes to an end, it will be because the words
will have been said, those it behoved to say, no need to know
which, no means of knowing which, they'll be there somewhere,
[p. 94r] in the heap, in the torrent, not necessarily the last, they have
to be authenticated by the proper authority, that takes time,
he's afar off [⁁] at a distance, the proper authority, they bring him the verbatim
report of the proceedings, once a every so long,, he knows the words that count,
it's he who chose them, in the meantime the voice continues,
while the messnger goes towards the master, and while the master
reads the report, and while the messenger comes back with the
verdict, the words continue, the wrong words, until the order
arrives, to stop everything, or to continue everything, no,
superfyluous, everything will continue automatically, until the
order arrives, to stop everything. [2093] They are perhaps they there, somewhere, the words that count, in what they have just said the last fifty,, [Stet] the
words it behoved to say, they need not be more than a few. [2094] They say
they, speaking of them, to make me think it is I who am speaking. [2095] Or I say they, speaking of God knows what, to make me think it
is not I who am speaking. [2096] Or rather there is silence, from the
moment the messenger departs until he returns with his orders,
namely, Continue. [2097] For there are long silences from time to time,
truces, and then I hear them whispering, some perhaps whispering,
It's over, this time we've hit the mark, and the others, We'll
have to do it all over again, in other words, or in the same words
words, arranged differently. [2098] Respite then once a [⁁] every so long, if one can
call rthat respite, when one waits to know one's fate, saying,
Perhaps it's not that at all, and saying, Where do these words
come from that pour out of my mouth, and what do they mean, no,
saying nothing, for the words don't carry any more, if one can ca
call that waiting, when there is no reason, and one listens, hthat
stet, without reason, as fro one has always listened, because
one day the listening began, because it cannot stop, that's not a
reason, if one can call that respite. [2099] But what is what's all this business
abotut not being able to die, live, be born, that must have some
bearing, this business about staying where you are, dying, living, being born, unable to go forward or back, not knowing where
you came from, or where you are, or where you're going, and or that it's
[p. 95r] ^possible to be elsewhere, to be otherwise, supposing nothing,
asking yourself nothing, you can't, you are 're there, who you
don't know who, where you don't know [⁁] where, the thing stays where it is,
nothing changes it, within in, about it, apparently, apparently. [2100] And the only thing is [⁁] there is nothing left but to wait for thee end, the only thing is nothing left but for
for the end to come, anad and at the end it all will be the same [⁁] thing, ast the
end at last perhaps all the same thing as before, as all that livelong
time when the only thing was there was nothing but left but to get tot the end, or fly from it,
or wait for it, trembling or not, resigned or not, the nuisance
of doing over, and of being, same thing, for one who could never
do, never be. [2101] If it this voice could only stop, this voice which means
nothing, which prevents you from being nothing, and nowhere, badly, barely, just barely prevents it,
this meaningless voice which prevents you from being nothing, just barely prevents
you from being nothing & nowhere
just enough to keep alight this little yellow flame feebly darting
to right and left, panting, as if straining to tear itself from
its wick, strange little flame, it should never have been lit,
or it should never have been fed, or it should have been put
out, put out, it hshould have been let go out. [2102] Regretting, that's
what helps you on, that's what gets you on towards the end of the
world, regretting what its, regretting what was, it's not the same
thing, yes, it's the same, you don't know, you don't know what's
happening, you don't know what's happened, perhaps it's the same,
the same regretting, that's what transports you, towards the end
of regretting. [2103] But let us have a little animation now for pity's
sake, it's now or never, a little spirit, it won't produce anything, noyt a budge, that doesn't matter, we are not grocers,
and one never knows, does one, no. [2104] Perhaps Mahood will emerge from
his ruurn and make his way toxwards Montmartre, on his belly, singing, I come, I come, my heart's delight. [2105] Or Worm, good old Worm,
perhaps he won't be able to bear any more, of not being able, of
not being able to bear any more, it would be a pity to miss that. [2106] If I were they I'd set the rats on him, water rats, sewer rats,
they're the best, oh not too many, twel a dozen or a dozen and
a half, that lmight help him to make up his mind, to get going,
and what an introduction, to his future attributes. [2107] No, it would
be in vain, a ra
[p. 96r] be in vain, a rat wouldn't survive there, not a second one
second. [2108] But let's have another squint at his eye, that's the
place to look. [2109] A little raw perhaps, the white, with all the
pissing, there's a gleam there [⁁] at last, one hesitates to say of intelligence. [2110] Apart from that the smame as ever. [2111] A trifle more prominent
perhaps, more paraphimotically globose. [2112] It seems to listen. DOODLE 13 [2113] It's weakening, that's unavoidable, glazing, it's hight time
to offer it something to bring it clean out of its socket, in
ten years it will be too late. [2114] The mistake they make is to speak
of him as if he really existed, in a specific place, whereas
the whole thing is no more than a project for the moment. [2116] But
let them bmlunder on totx the end of their foolishness, after then
that they can go into the question again, taking care not to
compromise themselves by the use of terms, if not of notions,
accessible to the understanding. [2117] Similarly the case of Mahood
has been insufficiently studied. [2118] One may experience the need
of such creatures, assuming they are twain, and even the presentiment of their possible reality, without all thiese blind and
surly disquisitions. [2119] A little more reflecytion would have shown
them that the hour to speak, far from having struck, would
perhaps never strike. at all. [2120] But they are compelled to speak,
it is forbidden them they are forbidden to stop. [2121] Why then not speak of something
else, something the existne existence of which seems in a certain measure to be already established, on the subject of which one may
chatter away without blushing purple every thirty or forty
thousand words at having to empoly employ such locutions, and
which moreover, supreme guarantee, has already caused the
glibbest tongues to wag from time immemorial, it would be
preferable. [2122] It's the old story, they want to be entertained,
while doing their dirty work, no, not entertained, soothed,
no, that's not it either, comforted solaced, no, even less, no matter,
with the rsult that they achieve neither nothing, neither what they want,
without knowing exactly what, nor the obscure and loathsome
labour to which they are committed, the old story. [2123] You wouldn't
think they were the same crowd it was the same gang as a wom moment ago, would you.? [2124] 
[p. 97r] What can uyou expect, they don't know who they are either,
nor where they are, nor what they're doing, nor why everything
is going so badly, so abominably badly, that must be it. [2125] So
So they build up hypotheses that collapse on top of one another,
it's hiuman, a lobster couldn't do it. [2126] We're in a nice mess, [↑] Ah a nice mess we're in, the
whole lot of us, is it possible we're all in the same boat, no,
we're in a nice mess each one in his particular own peculiar way. [2127] I myself
have been scandalously bungled, they must be beginning to realize
it, I upon whom all depends dangles (?), better still, about wjhom, much
better, all turns, giddily dizzily, yes yes, don't protest, all whirls spins,
it's a head, I'm in a head, what an illumination, ssst, pissed
on out of hand. [2128] Ah this blind voice, and these moments of held
breath when everybody all listens wildly, and the voice that begins
to fumble again, without knowing what it's looking for, and
again the tiny silence, and the listening again, for what, nobody knows, a sign of life perhaps, that must be it, a sign of
life escaping somebody, and bound to be denied if it came, that's
it surely, if all that could only stop, there'd be peace, no, [⁁] too good to be true,
peace would be unbleievable, it wouldn't be beli it wouldn't be believed, the listening would go on, for
the voice to begin again, for as a sign of life, for somebody
to betray himself, or for something else, anything, what else
can there be but signs of life, the fall of a pin, the stirring
of a leaf, or the little cry that frogs give when the scythe cuts slices
them in two half, or when they are spiked, in the water their pools, with a spear,
one could multiply the examples, but there it is, one can't.
it would evebn be an excellent idea, but there it is, one can't. [2129] Perhaps it would be better to beb blind, the blind hear better,
lot of general knowledge knocking about wide information we
have, full of information general knowledge we are this evening, we have piano tuners
up our sleeve, they strike A and hear G, two minutes later,
there's nothing to be seen in any case, this eye is an oversight. [2130] But this isn't Worm speaking. [2131] True, so far, who denies it, it
would be premature. [2132] Nor I, for that matter, [2133] and Mahhood is notoriously aphonic. [2134] But the question is not there, for the moment,
[p. 98r] no one knows where it is, but it's not there, for the time
being.