MS-UoR-1552-7

[0119] I walk here now. [0120] (Pause.) [0121] Rather I come and stand. [0122] (Pause.) [0123] At nightfall. [0124] (Pause.) [0125] My voice is in her mind. [0126] (Pause.) [0127] She fancies she is alone. [0128] (Pause.) [0129] See how still she stands, how ^stark, with her face to the wall. [0130] (Pause.) [0131] How outwardly unmoved. [0132] (Pause.) [0133] She has not been out since girlhood. [0134] (Pause.) [0135] She hears in her poor mind^, She has not been out since girlhood. [0136] (Pause.) [0137] Not out since girlhood. [0138] (Pause.) [0139] Where is she, it may be asked. [0140] (Pause.) [0141] In the old home, the same where she-- [0142] (Pause.) [0143] The same where she began. [0144] (Pause.) [0145] Where it began. [0146] (Pause.) [0147] It all began. [0148] (Pause.) [0149] But this, this, when did this begin? [0150] (Pause.) [0151] When other girls of her age were out at . . . lacrosse she was already here. [0152] (Pause.) [0153] At this. [0154] (Pause.) [0155] The floor here, now bare, once was-- [0156] (M begins pacing. [0157] Steps a little slower.) [0158] But let us watch her move, in silence. [0159] (M paces. [0160] Towards end of second length.) [0161] Watch how feat she wheels. [0162] (M turns, paces. [0163] Synchronous with steps third length.) [0164] Three four five. [0165] (M turns at L, paces one more length, halts facing front at R.) [0166] I say the floor here, now bare, this strip of floor, once was carpeted, a deep pile. [0167] Till one night, while still little more than a child, she called her mother and said, Mother, this is not enough. [0168] The mother: Not enough? [0169] May-the child's given name-May: Not enough. [0170] The mother: What do you mean, May, not enough, what can you possibly mean, May, not enough? [0171] May: I mean, Mother, that I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0172] The mother: The motion alone is not enough? [0173] May: No, Mother, the motion alone is not enough, I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0174] (Pause. [0175] M resumes pacing. [0176] With pacing.) [0177] Does she still sleep, it may be asked? [0178] Yes, some nights she does, in snatches, bows her poor head against the wall and snatches a little sleep. [0179] (Pause.) [0180] Still speak? [0181] Yes, some nights she does, when she fancies none can hear. [0182] (Pause.) [0183] Tells how it was. [0184] (Pause.) [0185] Tries to tell how it was. [0186] (Pause.) [0187] It all. [0188] (Pause.) [0189] It all.

[0202] Sequel. [0203] A little later, when she was quite forgotten, she began to-- [0204] (Pause.) [0205] A little later, when as though she had never been, it never been, she began to walk. [0206] (Pause.) [0207] At nightfall. [0208] (Pause.) [0209] Slip out at nightfall and into the little church by the south door, always locked at that hour, and walk, up and down, up and down, his poor arm. [0210] (Pause.) [0211] Some nights she would halt, as one frozen by some shudder of the mind, and stand stark still till she could move again. [0212] But many also were the nights when she paced without pause, up and down, up and down, before vanishing the way she came. [0213] (Pause.) [0214] No sound. [0215] (Pause.) [0216] None at least to be heard. [0217] (Pause.) [0218] The semblance. [0219] (Pause. [0220] Begins pacing. [0221] Steps a little slower still. [0222] After two lengths halts facing front at R. [0223] Pause.) [0224] Faint, though by no means invisible, in a certain light. [0225] (Pause.) [0226] Given the right light. [0227] (Pause.) [0228] Grey rather than white, a pale shade of grey. [0229] (Pause.) [0230] Tattered. [0231] (Pause.) [0232] A tangle of tatters. [0233] (Pause.) [0234] A faint tangle of pale grey tatters. [0235] (Pause.) [0236] Watch it pass-(pause)-watch her pass before the candelabrum, how its flames, their light . . . like moon through passing rack. [0237] (Pause.) [0238] Soon then after she was gone, as though never there, began to walk, up and down, up and down, that poor arm. [0239] (Pause.) [0240] At nightfall. [0241] (Pause.) [0242] That is to say, at certain seasons of the year, during Vespers. [0243] (Pause.) [0244] Necessarily. [0245] (Pause. [0246] Begins pacing. [0247] After one length halts facing front at L. [0248] Pause.) [0249] Old Mrs Winter, whom the reader will remember, old Mrs Winter, one late autumn Sunday evening, on sitting down to supper with her daughter after worship, after a few half-hearted mouthfuls laid down her knife and fork and bowed her head. [0250] What is it, Mother, said the daughter, a most strange girl, though scarcely a girl any more . . . (brokenly) . . . dreadfully-- [0251] (Pause. [0252] Normal voice.) [0253] What is it, Mother, are you not feeling yourself? [0254] (Pause.) [0255] Mrs W. did not at once reply. [0256] But finally, raising her head and fixing Amy-the

[0256] daughter's given name, as the reader will remember-fixing Amy full in the eye she said-(pause)-she murmured, fixing Amy full in the eye she murmured, Amy, did you observe anything . . . strange at Evensong? [0257] Amy: No, Mother, I did not. [0258] Mrs W: Perhaps it was just my fancy. [0259] Amy: Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy it was? [0260] (Pause.) [0261] Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy this . . . strange thing was you observed? [0262] (Pause.) [0263] Mrs W: You yourself observed nothing . . . strange? [0264] Amy: No, Mother, I myself did not, to put it mildly. [0265] Mrs W: What do you mean, Amy, to put it mildly, what can you possibly mean, Amy, to put it mildly? [0266] Amy: I mean, Mother, that to say I observed nothing . . . strange is indeed to put it mildly. [0267] For I observed nothing of any kind, strange or otherwise. [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing, of any kind.

^{[₰] [₰]} [0269] I was not there. [0270] Mrs W: Not there? [0271] Amy: Not there. [0272] Mrs W: But I heard you respond. [0273] (Pause.) [0274] I heard you say Amen. [0275] (Pause.) [0276] How could you have responded if you were not there? [0277] (Pause.) [0278] How could you possibly have said Amen if, as you claim, you were not there? [0279] (Pause.) [0280] The love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all, evermore. [0281] Amen. [0282] (Pause.) [0283] I heard you distinctly. [0284] (Pause. [0285] Begins pacing. [0286] After three steps halts without facing front. [0287] Long pause. [0288] Resumes pacing, halts facing front at R. [0289] Long pause.) [0290] Amy. [0291] (Pause. [0292] No louder.) [0293] Amy. [0294] (Pause.) [0295] Yes, Mother. [0296] (Pause.) [0297] Will you never have done? [0298] (Pause.) [0299] Will you never have done . . . revolving it all? [0300] (Pause.) [0301] It? [0302] (Pause.) [0303] It all. [0304] (Pause.) [0305] In your poor mind. [0306] (Pause.) [0307] It all. [0308] (Pause.) [0309] It all.