MS-BC-1991001-12-11

[0018] Mother. [0019] (Pause. [0020] No louder.) [0021] Mother.

[0023] Yes, May.

[0024] Were you asleep?

[0025] Deep asleep. [0026] (Pause.) [0027] I heard you in my deep sleep. [0028] (Pause.) [0029] There is no sleep so deep I would not hear you there. [0030] (Pause. [0031] M resumes pacing. [0032] Four lengths. [0033] After first length, synchronous with steps.) [0034] One two three four five six seven ^{eight nine} wheel one two three four five six seven ^{eight nine} wheel. [0035] (Free.) [0036] Will you not try to snatch a little sleep?

[0039] Would you like me to inject you again?

[0040] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0042] Would you like me to change your position?

[0043] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0045] Straighten your pillows? [0046] (Pause.) [0047] Change your drawsheet? [0048] (Pause.) [0049] Pass you the bedpan? [0050] (Pause.) [0051] The warming-pan? [0052] (Pause.) [0053] Dress your sores? [0054] (Pause.) [0055] Sponge you down? [0056] (Pause.) [0057] Moisten your poor lips? [0058] (Pause.) [0059] Pray with you? [0060] (Pause.) [0061] For you?

[0063] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0065] What age am I now?

[0066] And I? [0067] (Pause. [0068] No louder.) [0069] And I?

[0070] ^Ninety.

[0071] So much?

[0072] Eighty-nine, ninety.

[0073] I had you late. [0074] (Pause.) [0075] In life. [0076] (Pause.) [0077] Forgive me again. [0078] (Pause. [0079] No louder.) [0080] Forgive me again.

[0082] ^{What age am I now?}

[0083] In your forties.

[0084] So little?

[0085] I'm afraid so. [0086] (Pause. [0087] M resumes pacing. [0088] After first turn at ^R.) [0089] May. [0090] (Pause. [0091] No louder.) [0092] May.

[0093] (pacing).[0094] Yes, Mother.

[0095] Will you never have done? [0096] (Pause.) [0097] Will you never have done...revolving it all?

[0098] ( ^halting). [0099] It?

[0100] It all. [0101] (Pause.) [0102] In your poor mind. [0103] (Pause.) [0104] It all. [0105] (Pause.) [0106] It all.

[0119] I walk here now. [0120] (Pause.) [0121] Rather I come and stand. [0122] (Pause.) [0123] At nightfall. [0124] (Pause.) [0125] [0126] (Pause.) [0127] She fancies she is alone. [0128] (Pause.) [0129] See how ^still she stands, how ^stark, with her face to the wall. [0130] (Pause.) [0131] How outwardly unmoved. [0132] (Pause.) [0133] She has not been out since girlhood. [0134] (Pause.) [0135] [0136] (Pause.) [0137] Not out since girlhood. [0138] (Pause.) [0139] Where is she, it may be asked. [0140] (Pause.) [0141] In the old home, the same where she - . [0142] (Pause.) [0143] The same where she began. [0144] (Pause.) [0145] Where it began. [0146] (Pause.) [0147] It all began. [0148] (Pause.) [0149] But this, this, when did this begin? [0150] (Pause.) [0151] When other girls of her age were out at...lacrosse she was already here. [0152] (Pause.) [0153] At this. [0154] (Pause.) [0155] The floor here, now bare, ^once was - . [0156] (^{M b}egins pacing. [0157] Steps a little slower.) [0158] But let us watch her move, in silence. [0159] (M paces. [0160]Towards end of second length.) [0161] Watch how feat she wheels. [0162] (M turns, paces. [0163] Synchronous with steps third length.) [0164] ^{[⁁] 7 8 9 wheel.} [0165] (M turns at L, paces one more length, halts facing front at R.) [0166] I say the floor here, now bare, ^{[⁁]this strip of floor,[⁁]} once was carpeted, a deep pile. [0167] Till one night, while still little more than a child, she called her mother and said, Mother, this is not enough. [0168] The mother: Not enough? [0169] May - the child's given name - May: Not enough. [0170] The mother: What do you mean, May, not enough, what can you possibly mean, May, not enough? [0171] May: I mean, Mother, that I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0172] The mother: The motion alone is not enough? [0173] May: No, Mother, the motion alone is not enough, I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0174] (Pause. [0175] M resumes pacing. [0176] With pacing.) [0177] Does she still sleep, it ma^y be asked. [0178] Yes, some nights she does, in snatches^{. B}ows her poor head against the wall and snatches a little sleep. [0179] (Pause.) [0180] Still speak? [0181] Yes, some nights she does, when she fancies none can hear. [0182] (Pause.) [0183] Tells how it was. [0184] (Pause.) [0185] Tries to tell how it was. [0186] (Pause.) [0187] It all. [0188] (Pause.) [0189] It all.

[0202] Sequel. [0203] A little later, when she was quite forgotten, she began to - . [0204] (Pause.) [0205] A little later, when as though she had never been, it never been, she began to walk. [0206] (Pause.) [0207] At nightfall. [0208] (Pause.) [0209] Slip out at nightfall and into the little church by the ^north door, always locked at that hour, and walk, up and down, up and down, his poor arm. [0210] (Pause.) [0211] Some nights [0211] she would halt, as one frozen by some shudder of the mind, and stand stark still till she could move again^{[₰] .} [0212] But many also were the nights when she paced without pause, up and down, up and down, before vanishing the way she came. [0213] (Pause.) [0214] No sound. [0215] (Pause.) [0216] None at least to be heard. [0217] [0219] (Paus^e. [0220] Begins pacing. [0221] Steps a little slower still. [0222] After two [0222] lengths halts facing front at R. [0223] Pause.) [0218] The semblance. [0224] Faint, though by no means invisible, in a certain light. [0225|002] (Pause.) [0226] Given the right light. [0227] (Pause.) [0228] Grey rather than white, a pale shade of grey. [0229] (Pause.) [0230] Tattered. [0231] (Pause.) [0232] A tangle of tatters. [0233] (Pause.) [0234] A faint tangle of pale grey tatters. [0235] (Pause.) [0236] Watch it pass - (pause) - watch her pass before the candelabrum, how its flames, their light...like moon through passing^...rack. [0237] (Pause.) [0238] Soon then after she was gone, as though never there, began to walk, up and down, up and down, that poor arm. [0239] (Pause.) [0240] At nightfall. [0241] (Pause.) [0242] That is to say, at certain seasons of the year, during Vespers. [0243] (Pause.) [0244] Necessarily. [0245] (Pause. [0246] ^Resumes pacing. [0247] After one length halts facing front at L. [0248] Pause.) [0249] Old Mrs Winter, whom the reader will remember, old Mrs Winter, one late [0249] autumn Sunday evening, on sitting down to supper with her daughter after worship, after a few half-hearted mouthfuls laid down her knife and fork and bowed her head. [0250] What is it, Mother, said the daughter, a most strange girl, though scarcely a girl any more...(brokenly)...dreadfully un - ... [0251] (Pause. [0252] Normal voice.) [0253] What is it, Mother, are you not feeling yourself? [0254] (Pause.) [0255] Mrs W. did not at once reply. [0256] But finally, raising her head and fixing Amy - the daughter's given name, as the reader will remember - ^{[⁁]raising her head and[⁁]} fixing Amy full in the eye she said - (pause) - she murmured, fixing [0256] Amy full in the eye she murmured, ^{[0256] Amy. [0256] (Pause) [0256] Amy. [0256] (P.) [0256] Amy: Yes M. [0256] Mrs W:} [0256] Amy, did you ob^serve anything...strange at Evensong? [0257] Amy: No, Mother, I did not. [0258] Mrs W: Perhaps it was just my fancy. [0259] Amy: Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy it was? [0260] (Pause.) [0261] Just what exactly, Mother, did you DOODLE 1^perhaps fancy this... strange thing was you observed? [0262] (Pause.) [0263] Mrs W: You yourself observed nothing...strange? [0264] Amy: No, Mother, I ^myself did not, to put it mildly. [0265] Mrs W: What do you [0265] mean, Amy, to put it mildly, what can you possibly mean, Amy, to put it mildly? [0266] Amy: I mean, Mother, that to say I observed nothing...strange is indeed to put it mildly. [0267] For I observed nothing of any kind, ^strange or otherwise. [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing, of any kind.