MS-UoR-1552-2

[0018] Mother.

[0023] Yes Mary.

[0024] Were you asleep?

[0025] Deep asleep. [0026] (Pause.) [0027] I heard you in my deep sleep. [0028] (Pause.) [0029] There is no sleep so deep I would not hear you there.

[0029|001] What kind of sleep is that?

[0033] (at ^{l1 length 2}, synchronous with steps). [0034] One two three four five six seven wheel one two three four five six seven wheel. [0034|001] (Pause. [0035] Free.) [0036] Will you not try to get a little sleep?

[0039] Would you like me to inject you again?

[0040] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0042] Would you like me to change your position?

[0043] ^{Yes, but} It is too soon. [0044] (Pause. [0044|001] Ma resumes pacing

[0045] Rearrange your pillows? [0046] (Pause.) [0047] Change your drawsheet? [0048] (Pause.) [0049] Pass you the urinal? [0050] (Pause.) [0051] The bedpan? [0052] (Pause.) [0053] Dress your sores? [0054] (Pause.) ^{[0055] Sponge you down? [0056] (P.) [0057] Moisten yr. lips.} [0057|001] Tell you bedtime story?

[0063] ^{Yes, but} It is ^all too soon.

[0065] How old am I now?

[0066] And I?

[0070] ⁽I suppose⁾ getting on for ninety.

[0071] As much as that?

[0072] Eighty-nine, ninety.

[0073] I had you late in life.

[0073|001] Could you not ^{You might} have waited?^.

[0077] I'm sorry ^{Forgive me again.}

[0082] Well?

[0083] ⁽You must be⁾ well into your forties.

[0084] Is that all?

[0085] I'm afraid so. [0087] (M resumes pacing. [0088] After steps ^{first wheel}.)
[0089] Mary.

[0093] (pacing). [0094] Yes Mother.

[0097] Can you not stop revolving it all?

[0098] (pacing). [0099] It?

[0100] It all. [0101] (Pause.) [0102] In your poor mind. [0103] (Pause.) [0104] It all. [0105] (Pause.) [0106] It all.

[0119] I walk here now. [0120] (Pause.) [0121] Rather I come and sit. [0122] (Pause.) [0123] At nightfall. [0124] (Pause.) [0125] My voice is in her head. [0126] (Pause.) [0127] She thinks she is alone. [0128] (Pause.) [0129] See how still she stands.^, [⁁]^{with her face to the wall.[⁁]} [0130] (Pause.) [0131] How calm, outwardly ^unmoved. [0132] (Pause.) [0133] She has not been out since girlhood. [0134] (Pause.) [0135] She hears in her head, She has not been out since girlhood. [0136] (Pause.) [0137] Not out since girlhood. [0138] (Pause.) [0139] Where is she, it may be

[0139] asked. [0140] (Pause.) [0141] In the old home, the same where she - [0142] (Pause.) [0143] The same where she began. [0144] (Pause.) ^{[0145] Where it began for her. [0146] (P.) [0147] It all. [0148] (P)} [0148|001] A general practitioner named Haddon, dead soon after. ^{to die with not long to live. long past his best. (P.) Not long to live. (P.)} [0148|002] (Pause.) ^{[0148|003] Made rather a mess of it. [0148|004] (P.)} [0148|005] Though always on the plain ^{and dull} side she once had an admirer. ^{a swain.} [0148|006] (Pause.) [0148|007] That she is still a maid is almost certain. [0148|008] (Pause.) [0149] When did this begin? [0150] (Pause.) [0151] When other girls of her age were out at hockey and lacrosse she was already here. [0152] (Pause.) [0153] At this. [0154] (Pause.) [0155] The floor here, now bare, was once - . [0156] (M begins pacing. [0157] Steps audible as before.) [0158] But let us watch her move in sim^lence. [0159] (M paces. [0160] ^{(Near xxx xxx of length 1) Towards end of second length.)}) [0161] See ^Watch how feat she wheels. [0162] (M wheels ^turns, paces. [0163] Synchronous with steps. ^{length 2}) [0164] Two three four five ^[⁁]six ... [0165] (M pav^ces, halts finally at ). ^{(Wheels at R, paces 2 more lengths, stops halts at R.) third length. M turns at L, paces one more length, halts facing front at R.} [0166] The floor here then, this strip of floor, once it was carpeted, a deep pile, [0167] till one day, while still little more than a child, she called her mother and said, Mother, this is not enough. [0168] The mother: Not enough? [0169] Mary - the child's given name - Mary: No Mother. [0170] The mother: What do you mean, Mary, not enough, what can you possibly mean, Mary, not enough? [0171] Mary: No Mother, I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0172] The mother: The motion alone is not enough? [0173] Mary: No Mother, the motion alone is not enough, I must hear the g^feet, however faint they fall. [0174] (Pause. [0175] Mary resumes pacing. [0176] With pacing.) [0177] Does she still sleep, it may be asked. [0178] Yes, in snatches, bows her head against the wall and snatches a little sleep. [0179] (Pause.) [0180] Still speak? [0181] Yes, some nights she does, when she thinks none can hear. [0182] (Pause.) [0183] Tells how it was. [0184] (Pause.) [0185] Tries to tell how it was. [0186] (Pause.) [0187] It all. [0188] (Pause.) [0189] It all.

[0190] M continues pacing. [0191] ^{say 5 seconds after about 5 secs} [0192] Fade out on strip. [0193] All in darkness. [0194] Steps silent. [0195] Long pause.

[0196] Sound. ^{a little fainter still.}

[0198] Fade up a little dimmer still on strip. [0199] Rest in darkness. [0200] M ^{pacing. M halts at} standing facing front at . [stet]

[0201] Pause.

[0202] Appendix: [0203] some ten years later, when she was quite forgotten, she began - . [0204] (Pause.) [0205] Some few years later, when it was all as though she had never been, if she ever had, she began to walk. [0206] (Pause.) [0207] At nightfall. [0208] (Pause.) [0209] Slip out into the little church by the south door, always closed at that hour, and walk up and down the corresponding arm. [0211] Often she [0210] (Pause.) [0211] Often she would halt, as one frozen by something in ^{motion of} the mind, and stand stock still, before moving on again. [0212] But many also were the evenings when the pacing continued unbroken, xxx till she vanished the way she had come. [0213] (Pause.) [0214] No sound of course. [0215] (Pause.) [0216] None at least to be heard. [0217] (Pause.) [0218] The appearance? ^{[0220] Paces. [⁁][0220|001] 1L [0222]Halts at L. [0223] P: [0223|001] The appearance? [0223|002] (P.)} (Pause.) [0224] Faint, but bu^y no means invisible ^{almost invisible [stet]} .^{, in a certain light} [0227] (Pause.) [0228] Grey rather than white, a light shade of grey. [0229] (Pause.) [0230] Ragged. [0231] (Pause.) [0232] A tangle of rags. [0233] (Pause.) [0233|001] Pale grey rags. [0233|002] (Pause.) [0234] A faint tangle of pale grey rags. [0235] (Pause.) [0236] Watch it - (Pause.) Watch her pass before a candelabrum, how the flames, the light of the flames...like moon through cloud. [0237] (Pause.) [0237|001] Or mist. [0237|002] (Pause.) [0238] Thus soon ^{not long} after having gone, as though never been, beh^gan to walk, along the south transept, up and down, at nightfall. [0239] (Pause?) ^{(Pause.) [0240] Nightfall.} [0241] (Pause.) [0242] That is to say, at certain periods ^seasons of the year, during evensong. [0243] (Pause.) [0244] Necessarily. [0245] (Pause.)[⁁] ^{[0246] Paces x½L+. [0247] Halts at r2. [0248] P} [0249] Mrs Winter, whom the reader will remember, Mrs Winter, one autumn Sunday evening, on sitting down to supper with her daughter after worship, after a few half-hearted mouthfuls laid down her knife and fork and bl^owed her head. [0249|001] (Pause.) [0250] What is it, Mother, said the daughter, a very strange girl, though hardly ^scarcely a girl any more...(Brokenly.) Dreadfully unhappy... [0252] (Normal voice.) [0253] What is is it, Mother, are you not feeling well ^yourself? [0255] Mrs Winter did not at once reply. [0256] But finally, raising her head and fixing Emily - the daughter's given name, as the reader will remember - fixing Emily full in the eye, she said - (pause) - she murmured - ^, Emily, did you notice anything unusual ^strange in church this evening? [0257] Emily: No Mother, I did not. [0258] Mrs Winter: Perhaps it was just my fancy. [0259] Emily: Just what ^exactly, Mother, did you ^perhaps fancy it was? [0260] (Pause.) [0261] Just what [⁁]^exactly, Mother, did you ^perhaps fancy it was you saw? [0263] Mrs Winter - [0262] (Pause.) [0263] Mrs Winter: You noticed nothing ^strange? [0264] Emily: Nothing whatever, Mother, ^{I did not,} to put it mildly. [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing. [0268|001] ^{Nothing whatever.} [0269] I was not there. ^{[0265] Mrs W: What do you mean, Emily, to put it mildly, what can you possibly mean, Emily, to put it mildly? [0266] Emily:[A] [0266] I mean, mother, that to say I noticed nothing strange is to put it mildly. [0267] For I noticed nothing of any kind. [⁁]unusual or otherwise [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing, of any kind. [0269] I was not there.[A]} [0270] Mrs Winter: Not there? [0271] Emily: Not there. [0272] Mrs Winter: But I heard you respond. [0273] (Pause.) [0274] I heard you say Amen. [0275] (Pause.) [0278] How could you have said Amen if, as you claim, you were not there? [0278|001]E Emily - [0278|002] (xx^Pause.) [0278|003] Emily: At the end? ^{[0278|004] (Pause.) [0278|005] At the very end?} [0278|006] Mrs Winter: Well yes I suppose if you like, what difference does that make? [0279] (Pause.) [0280] "...the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us l^all, evermore. [0281] Axxx Amen." [0283] I heard you distinctly. [0283|001] Emily: I was ^{may have been} there at the ^very end. ^{[0285] Paces. [0288] 1/2 L-. Halts at R. [0289] P} [0290] Mrs Winter: Emily. [0295] Emily: Yes Mother. [0299] Mrs Winter: Can you not stop revolving it all.^? [0301] Emily: It? [0303] Mrs Winter: It all. [0304] (Pause.) [0305] In your poor mind. [0306] (Pause.) [0307] It all. [0308] (Pause.) [0309] It all.