MS-UoR-1552-4

[0018] Mother. [0019] ^{(Pause.) Mother. [0019] (Pause. [0020] No louder.) [0021] Mother.}

[0023] Yes, Mary.

[0024] Were you asleep?

[0025] Deep asleep. [0026] (Pause.) [0027] I heard you in my deep sleep. [0028] (Pause.) [0029] There is no sleep so deep I would not hear you there.

[0029|001] What kind of sleep is that?

[0033] (after first length, synchronous with steps). [0034] One two three four five six seven wheel one two three four s^five six seven wheel. [0035] (Free.) [0036] Will you not try to snatch a little sleep?

[0039] Would you like me to inject you again?

[0040] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0042] Would you like me to change your position?

[0043] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0045] Rearrange your pillows? [0046] (Pause.) [0047] Change your drawsheet? [0048] (Pause.) [0049] Pass you the urinal? [0050] (Pause.) [0051] The bedpan? [0052] (Pause.) [0053] Dress your sores? [0054] (Pause.) [0055] Sponge you down? [0056] (Pause.) [0057] Moisten your lips? [0058] (Pause.) [0059] Tell bedtime story? ^{Pray for you? (Pause.) Pray with you? [0060] (Pause.)} [0061] ^{For you?}

[0063] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0065] What age am I now?

[0066] And I?

[0070] Getting on for ninety.

[0071] As much as that ^{So much}?

[0072] Eighty-nine, ninety.

[0073] I had you late in life. ^{[0077] Forgive me again. ([⁁][0078]Pause [0079] No louder.) [0080] Forgive me again.}

[0080|001] Not late enough. ^{Better never}

[0082] Well?

[0083] Well i^Into your forties.

[0084] Is that all ^{So little}?

[0085] I'm afraid so. [0087] (M resumes pacing. [0088] After first turn at L.) [0089] Mary. ^{[0090] (Pause. [0091] No louder.) [0092] Mary}

[0094] Yes, Mother. [0093] (pacing). [0094] Yes, Mother.

[0097] Can you not stop revolving it all?

[0098] (pacing).[0099] It?

[0100] It all. [0101] (Pause.) [0102] In your poor mind. [0103] (Pause.) [0104] It all. [0105] (Pause.) [0106] It all.

[0119] I walk here now. [0120] (Pause.) [0121] Rather I come and stand. [0122] (Pause.) [0123] At nightfall. [0124] (Pause.) [0125] My voice is in her head ^mind. [0126] (Pause.) [0127] She fancies she is alone. [0128] (Pause.) [0129] See how still she stands, how firm, with her face to the wall. [0130] (Pause.) [0131] How outwardly unmoved. [0132] (Pause.) [0133] She has not been out since girlhood. [0134] (Pause.) [0135] Sxhe She hears in her head ^{poor mind}, She has not been out since girlhood. [0136] (Pause.) [0137] Not out since girlhood. [0138] (Pause.) [0139] Where is she, it may be asked. [0140] (Pause.) [0141] In the old home, the same where she - [0142] (Pause.) [0143] The same where she began. [0144] (Pause.) [0145] Where it began. [0146] (Pause.) [0147] It all began. [0148] (Pause.) [0148|001] A general practitioner named Haddon. [0148|002] Long past his best. [0148|003] Not long to live. [0148|004] ^{His last mess.} [0148|005] Made a mess of us it. Of us. it. [0148|006] (Pause.) [0148|007] Of us. [0148|008] (Pause.) [0148|009] Though always plain and dull, she once had an admirer. [0148|010] (Pause.) [0148|011] That she is ^{She must be} still a maid^. is almost certain. [0148|012] (Pause.) [0149] ^{But this But this, it may be asked, this,[⁁]} W^when did this begin? [0150] (Pause.) [0151] When other girls of her age were out at hockey and ^{at ...} lacrosse w^she was already here. [0153] At this [0152] (Pause.) [0153] At this. [0155] The fl [0154] (Pause.) [0155] The floor here, now bare, was o,ⁿce ^[stet] - [0156] (M begins pacing. [0157] Steps audible as before.) [0158] But let us watch her move in silence. [0159] (M paces. [0160] Towards end of second length.) [0161] Watch how feat she wheels. [0162] (M turns, paces. [0163] Synchronous with steps third length.) [0164] ^Three F^four five six. [0165] (M turns at L, paces one more length, halts facing front at R.) ⁴ [0166] The ^{I say the} floor here then, ^{now bare} this strip of floor, once was carpeted, a deep pile, [0167] till one day, while still little more than [0167] a child, she called her mother and said, Mother, this is not enough. [0168] The mother: Not enough? [0169] Mary - the child's given name - Mary: No, Mother. ^{Not enough.} [0170] The mother: What do you mean, Mary, not enough, what can you possibly mean, Mary, not enough? [0171] Mary: No, Mother, I must hear the feet, howeven faint they fall. [0172] The mother: The motion alone is not enough? [0173] Mary: No, Mother, the motion alone is not enough, I must hear the steps feet, however faint they fall.^[Stet] [0174] (Pause.) [0174] (Pause. [0175] M resumes pacing. [0176] With pacing.) [0177] Does she still sleep, it may be asked. [0178] Yes, in snatches, bows her head against the wall and snay^tches a little sleep. [0179] (Pause.) [0180] Still speak? [0181] Yes, some nights she does, when she fancies none can hear. [0182] (Pause.) [0183] Tells how it was. [0184] (Pause.) [0185] Tries to tell how it was. [0186] (Pause.) [0187] It all. [0188] (Pause.) [0189] It all.

[0202] Appendix ^Sequel: [0203] some ten years ^{a little} later, when she was quite forgotten, she began - [0204] (Pause.) [0205] Some few years ^{A little} later, when it ^it was all as though it ^she had never been, she had ^it never been, she began to walk. [0206] (Pause.) [0207] At nightfall. [0208] (Pause.) [0209] Slip out ^and into the little church by the south door, always closed ^locked at that hour, and walk up and down^, the corresponding arm ^{up & down, His poor arm.} [0210] (Pause.) [0211] Sometimes she would halt, as one frozen by some motion ^phantom of the mind, and stand stock still till she could move on again ^{pass on move again.}. [0212] But many also were the evenings when the pacing continued unbroken, till she vanished ^{she paced without pause up & down, up & down, before vanishing} the way she had come. [0213] (Pause.) [0214] No sound of course. [0215] (Pause.) [0216] None at least to be heard. [0217] (Pause.) [0218] The appearance ^semblance? [0219] (Pause. [0220] Begins pacing. [0222] After one ² length^s halts facing front at L^R. ¹² [0223] Pause.) [0228] Grey rather than white, [0224] Faint, but by no means invisible, in a certain light. [0225] (Pause.) ^{[0226] Given Granted the right light. [0227] (Pause.)} [0228] Grey rather than white, a light shade of grey. [0229] (Pause.) [0230] Ragged ^Tattered. [0231] (Pause.) [0232] A tangle of rags ^tatters. [0233] (Pause.) [0234] A faint tangle of pale grey rags ^tatters. [0235] (Pause.) [0236] Watch it - (Pause.) [0236] Watch her pass before a ^the candelabrum, how the ^its flames, the^ir light of the flames...like moon through ^passing cloud. [0236|001] (Pause.) [0236|002] Or mist. [0237] (Pause.) [0238] Thus not long ^{soon then} h^after having gone, as though never been ^there, began to walk, along the south transept, up and down, at nightfall. [⁁]^{up & down, up & down, His that poor arm. [0239] (Pause.) [0240] At nightfall.} [0241] (Pause.) [0241|001] Nightfall. [0241|002] (Pause.) [0242] That is to say, at certain seasons ot^f the year, during evensong ^Vespers. [0243] (Pause.) [0244] Necessarily. [0245] (Pause. [0246] Starts pacing. [0247] ^{After 1 length} Halts facing front after four steps ^{at L. 4/71} [0248] Pause.) [0249] Mrs Winter, whom the reader will remember, Mrs Winter, one autumn Sunday evening, on sitting down with her daughter to supper with her daughter after worship, after a few half-hearted mouthfuls laid down her knife and fork and bowed her head. [0249|001] (Pause.) [0250] What is it, Mother, said the daughter, a very strange girl, though scarcely a girl any more...(Brokenly.) [0250] Dreadfully unhappy ^-... [0251] (^Pause. [0252] Normal voice.) [0253] What is it, Mother, are you not feeling yourself? [0255] Mrs W ^(doubleyoo) did not at once reply. [0256] But finally, raising her head and fixing Emily ^Amy - the daughter's given name, as the reader will remember - fixing Emily ^Amy full in the et^ye, she said - (pause) - she murmured, Emily ^Amy, did you notice anything ^... strange ^{unusual strange} in church this evening ^{at evensong}? [0257] Emily ^Amy: No, Mother, I did not. [0258] Mrs W: Perhaps it was just my fancy. [0259] Emily ^Amy: Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy it was? [0260] (Pause.) [0261] Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy it was you saw ^noticed. [0263] Mrs W: You noticed nothing unusual ^strange? [0264] Emily: No, Mother, I did not, to put it mildly. [0265] Mrs W: [0265] Mrs W: What do you mean, Emily, to put it mildly, what can you possibly mean, Emily, to put it mildly? [0266] Emily ^Amy: I mean, Mother, that to say I noticed nothing unusual ^strange is indeed to put it mildly. [0267] For I noticed nothing of any kind, unusual ^strange or otherwise. [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing,

[0268] of any kind. [0269] I was not there. [0270] Mrs W: Not there? [0271] Emily: Not there. [0272] Mrs W: But I heard you respond. [0273] (Pause.) [0274] I heard you say Amen. [0275] (Pause.) [⁁]^{[0276] How could you have responded if you were not there? [0277] (Pause.)} [0278] H^how could you possibly have said Amen if, as you claim, you werr were not there? [0278|001] Emily - [0278|002] (Pause.) [0278|003] Emily: At the end? [0278|004] (Pause.) [0278|005] The very end? [0278|006] Mrs W: Well yes I suppose if you like, what difference does that make? [0279] (Pause.) [0280] "...and the love of God, and the fellow^shiphip of the Holy Ghost, be with us all, evermore. [0281] Amen." [0283] I heard you distinctly. [0283|001] Emily: I was there at the very end. [0284] (Pause. [0285] Starts pacing,^. [0286] after three steps ^{one length} halts facing front at R. ^{[0286] Halts - after 3 steps halts without turning front. [0287] Long pause. [0288] Paces on, halts facing front at R. [0289] Pause.)} [0289] Pause.) ^3/71 [0290] Emily Mrs W: Emily ^Amy. ^{[0291] (Pause. [0292] No louder.)} [0293] Emily ^Amy:^{. [0294] (Pause.)} [0295] Yes, Mother. [0296] Mrs W: ^(Pause). [0299] Will you never have done revolving it all? [0299|001] Emily: ^{[0300] (Pause.)} [0301] It? [0301|001] Mrs W: ^{[0302] (Pause)} [0303] It all. [0305] In your poor mind [0304] (Pause.) [0305] In your poor mind. [0306] (Pause.) [0307] It all. [0308] (Pause.) [0309] It all.