MS-UoR-1552-5

[0018] Mother. [0019] (Pause. [0020] No louder.) [0021] Mother.

[0023] Yes, May.

[0024] Were you asleep?

[0025] Deep asleep. [0026] (Pause.) [0027] I heard you in my deep sleep. [0028] (Pause.) [0029] There is no sleep so deep I would not hear you there. [0030] (Paux^se. [0031] M resumes pacing. [0032] Four lengths. [0033] After first length, synchronous with steps.) [0034] One two three four five six seven wheel one two three four five six seven wheel. [0035] (Free.) [0036] Will you not try to snatcx^h a little sleep?

[0039] Would you like me to inject you again?

[0040] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0042] Would you like me to change your position?

[0043] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0045] Rearrange ^Straighten your pillows? [0046] (Pause.) [0047] Change your drawsheet? [0048] (Pause.) [0049] Pass you the urinal ^warming-pan? [0050] (Pause.) [0051] The bedpan? [0052] (Pause.) [0053] Dresx^s your sores? [0054] (Pause.) [0055] Sponge you down? [0056] (Pause.) [0057] Moisten your ^poor lips? [0058] (Pause.) [0059] Pray with you? [0060] (Pause.) [0061] For you?

[0063] Yes, but it is too soon.

[0065] What age am I now?

[0066] And I? ^{[0067] (Pause.) [0069] And I? [0067] (Pause. [0068] No louder.) [0069] And I?}

[0070] Getting on for ^{Upward of} ninety.

[0071] So much?

[0072] Eighty-nine, ninety.

[0073] I had you late^. [0075] in life. ^{(Pause. In life.)} [0076] (Pause.) [0077] Forgive me again. [0078] (Pause. [0079] No louder.) [0080] Forgive me again.

[0082] Well?

[0083] In your forties.

[0084] So little ?

[0085] I'm afraid so. [0086] (Pause. [0087] M resumes pacing. [0088] After first turn at L.) [0089] May. [0090] (Pause. [0091] No louder.) [0092] May.

[0093] (pacing). [0094] Yes, Mother.

[0095] Will you never have done^{? [0096] (Pause.)} [0097] ^{Will you never have done ...} revolving it all?

[0098] (pacing).[0099] It?

[0100] It all. [0101] (Pause.) [0102] In your poor mind. [0103] (Pause.) [0104] It all. [0105] (Pause.) [0106] It all.

[0119] I walk here now. [0120] (Pause.) [0121] Rather I come and stand. [0122] (Pause.) [0123] At nightfall. [0124] (Pause.) [0125] My voice is in her mind. [0126] (Pause.) [0127] She fancies she is alone. [0128] (Pause.) [0129] See how still she stands, how firm, with her face to the wall. [0130] (Pause.) [0131] How outwardly unmoved. [0132] (Pause.) [0133] She has not been out since girlhood. [0134] (Pause.) [0135] She hears in her poor mind, She has not been out since girlhood. [0136] (Pause.) [0137] Not out since girlhood. [0138] (Pause.) [0139] Where is she, it may be asked. [0140] (Pause.) [0141] In the old home, the same where she - [0142] (Pause.) [0143] The same where she began. [0144] (Pause.) [0145] Where it began. [0146] (Pause.) [0147] It all began. [0148] (Pause.) [0149] But this, when did this begin? [0150] (Pause.) [0151] When other girls of her age were out at...lacrosse she was already here. [0152] (Pause.) [0153] At this. [0154] (Pause.) [0155] The floor here, now bare, was o,ⁿce - [0156] (M begins pacing. [0157] ^{Steps a little slower.}) [0158] But let us watch her move, in silence. [0159] (M paces. [0160] Towards end of second length.) [0161] Watch how feat she wheels. [0162] (M turns, paces. [0163] Synchronous with steps third length.) [0164] Three four five six. [0165] (M turns at L, paces one more length, halts facing front at R.) [0166] I say the floor here, once ^now bare, this strip of floor, once was carpeted, a deep pile, [0167] t^Txⁱll one day, while still little more than a child, she called her mother and said, Mother, this is not enough. [0168] The mother: Not enough? [0169] May - the child's given name - May: Not enough. [0170] The mother: What do you mean, May, not enough, what can you possibly mean, May, not enough? [0171] May: No ^{I mean}, Mother, I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0172] The mother: The motion alone is not enough? [0173] May: No, Mother, the motion alone is not enough, I must hear the feet, however faint they fall. [0174] (Pause. [0175] M resumes pacing. [0176] With pacing.) [0177] Does she still sleep, it may be asked. [0178] Yes, [⁁]^{some nights she does,} in snatches, bows her head against the wall and snatches a little sleep. [0179] (Pause.) [0180] Still speak? [0181] Yes, some nights she does, when she fancies none can hear. [0182] (Pause.) [0183] Tells how it was. [0184] (Pause.) [0185] Tries to tell how it was. [0186] (Pause.) [0187] It all. [0188] (Pause.) [0189] It all.

[0202] Sequel. [0203] A little later, when she was quite forgotten, she began - [0204] (Pause.) [0205] A little later, when as though she had never been, it never been, she began to walk. [0206] (Pause.) [0207] At nightfall. [0208] (Pause.) [0209] Slip out at nightfall and into the little church by the south door, always locked at that hour, and walk, up and down, up and down, his poor arm. [0210] (Pause.) [0211] Sometimes ^nights she would halt, as one frozen by some shudder of the mind, and stand stock ^stark still till she could move again. [0212] But many also were the evenings ^nights when x^she paced without pause, up and down, up and down, before vanishing the way she came. [0213] (Pause.) [0214] No sound. [0215] (Pause.) [0216] None at least to be heard. [0217] (Pause.) [0218] The semblance. [0219] (Pause. [0220] Begins pacing. [0221] ^{Steps a little slower[⁁]} [0222] After two lengths halts facing front at R. [0223] Pause.) [0224] Faint, but ^though by no means invisible, in a certain light. [0225] (Pause.) [0226] Given the right light. [0227] (Pause.) [0228] Grey rather than white, a pale shade of grey. [0229] (Pause.) [0230] Tattered. [0231] (Pause.) [0232] A tangle of tatters. [0233] (Pause.) [0234] A faint tangle of pale grey tatters. [0235] (Pause.) [0236] Watch it ^pass - (pause) - watch her pass before the candelabrum, how its flames, their light...like moon through passing cloud ^rack. [0237] (Pause.) [0238] Soon then after she was gone, as though never there, began to walk, up and down, up and down, that poor arm. [0239] (Pause.) [0240] At nightfall. [0241] (Pause.) [0242] That is to say, at certain seasons of the year, during Vespers. [0243] (Pause.) [0244] Necessarily. [0245] (Pause. [0246] Begins pacing. [0247] After one length halts facing front at L. [0248] Pause.) [0249] ^Old Mrs Winter, whom the reader will remember, ^old Mrs Winter, one autumn Sunday evening, on sitting down to supper with her daughter after worship, after a few half-hearted mouthfuls laid down her knife and fork and bowed her head. [0249|001] (Pause.) [0250] What is it, Mother, said the daughter, a most strange girl, though scarcely a girl any more...(brokenly)...dreadfully un - ...[0251] (Pause. [0252] Normal voice.) [0253] What is it, Mother, are you not feeling yourself? [0254] (Pause.) [0255] Mrs W did not at once reply. [0256] But finally, raising her head and fixing Amy - the daughter's given name, as the reader will remember - fixing Amy full in the eye,^[₰] she said - (pause) - she murmured, ^{fixing Amy full in the eye she murmured,} Amy, did you observe anything...strange at Evensong? [0257] Amy: No, Mother, I did not. [0258] Mrs W: Perhaps it was just my fancy. [0259] Amy: Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy it was? [0260] (Pause.) [0261] Just what exactly, Mother, did you perhaps fancy this...strange thing was you observed? [0262] (Pause.) [0263] ^{Mrs W:} You observed nothing...strange? [0264] Amy: No, Mother, I did not, to put it mildly. [0265] Mrs W: What do you mean, Amy, to put it mildly, what can you possibly mean, Amy, to put it mildly? [0266] Amy: I mean, Mother, that to say I observed nothing...strange is indeed to put it mildly. [0267] For I observed nothing of any kind, strange or otherwise. [0268] I saw nothing, heard nothing, of any

[0268] kind. [0269] I was not there. [0270] Mrs W: Not there? [0271] Amy: Not there. [0272] Mrs W: But I heard you respond. [0273] (Pause.) [0274] I heard you say Amen. [0275] (Pause.) [0276] How could you have responded if you were not there? [0277] (Pause.) [0278] How could you possibly have said Amen if, as you claim, you were not there? [0279] (Pause.) [0280] The love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all, evermore. [0281] Amen. [0282] (Pause.) [0283] I heard you distinctly. [0284] (Pause. [0285] Begins pacing. [0286] After three steps halts without turning facing front. [0287] Long pause. [0288] Resumes pacing, halts facing front at R. [0289] Pause.) [0290] Amy. [0291] (Pause. [0292] No louder.) [0293] Amy. [0294] (Pause.) [0295] Yes, Mother. [0296] (Pause.) [0297] Will you never have done^{? [0298] (Pause.) [0299] Will you never have done revolving it all...} [0299] revolving it all? [0300] (Pause.) [0301] It? [0302] (Pause.) [0303] It all. [0304] (Pause.) [0305] In your poor mind. [0306] (Pause.) [0307] It all. [0308] (Pause.) [0309] It all.