[p. 18v] addition 7→ DOODLE 34
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[p. 19r][1555] And the starching begin at last, of this
old clxxx clout so patiently pawed in vain,
as limp and drooping still as before they began. [1556]
But it is exclusively solely a question of voices,
every other image is to be rejected. [1557] Let
it go through me at last, the right one, the
last one, his who has none, by his own confession. [1558]
Do they think they'll lull me xxx, with all
this hemming and hawing? [1559] What can
it matter to me, whether I succeed or
fail? [1560] The undertaking is none of mine. [1561]
If they want me to succeed, I'll fail, so as
not be rid of them. [1562] Is there a single word
of mine in all I say? [1563] No, I have no voice,
in this matter I have no voice. [1564] That's one
of the reasons why I confused myself with
Worm. [1565] But I have no reasons either, no reason,
I'm like Worm, with xxx with no voice or reason,
I'm Worm, no, if I was Worm I wouldn't know
it, I wouldn't say it, I wouldn't say anything,
I'd be Worm. [1566] But I don't say anything, I
don't know anything, these voices are not mine,
nor these thoughts, but the voices and the thoughts
of the enemies xxx who inhabit me. [1567] Who
make me say that I can't be Worm, the inexpugnable. [1568] Who make me say that I am he
perhaps, as they are. [1569] Who make me say
that, since I can't be he, I must be he. [1570]
That, since I couldn't be Mahood, as I
might have been, I must be Worm, as I
can't be. [1571] But is it still they who say that,
having failed to be Worm, I'll be Mahood,
automatically, on the rebound? [1572] As if, and a
little silence, as I were if I were big enough
now to understand take a hint and understand,
certain things, but they're wrong, I need
explanations, of xxx everything, and even
then, I don't understand, that's how I'll
sicken them in the end, by my stupidity, [⁁] so they say
so they say that is xx it's they who say xx
so they say, to lull me xxx, to make me
think I am more stupid than I am. [1573] And
is it still they who say that when I am Worm
at last, and surprise them all, I'll be at
last Mahood, Worm proving to be Mahood,
the moment one is he. [1574] Ah if only they could begin,
and do xx with me what they will, and succeed
at last, in doing with me what they will, I
am ready to be whatever they will, I am
tired of being matter, matter, messed about
xxx pawed and pummeled endlessly in vain. [1575]
Or give up and leave me lying there in a heap,
in such a heap that nobody would be ever
found again, mad enough to xxx to try and
fashion it. [1576] But they are not of one mind,
they are all of the same kidney and yet they xxx
don't know what they want to do with me,
they don't know where I am, or what I'm
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